Make Money Panhandling

How NOT to panhandle Joey Ramone

2012-01-25T16:03:00.000-08:00

Way back in the dark ages of the late 1980's, I had my first up close experience with a panhandler. I was a hardcore, but not that great BMX freestyle guy. Riding at the Huntington Beach Pier I met a guy named Mike who was also a punk rock officiando. He decided to broaden my music horizons from my top 40 upbringing, and started making me tapes, cassette tapes, of different bands. Mike introduced me to everything from Crass to The Buzzcocks to the Dead Kennedys to The Runaways to The Cramps to TSOL to Killer Pussy. Once I was showing a little interest, he started dragging me to clubs to see live shows. Mike's fav was The Ramones, but I kept missing their shows because of work or something. One great spot in those days was a club in downtown L.A. called Scream. At that point, 1988 or so, Jane's Addiction was sort of the house band at Scream. Besides Jane's Addiction, I first saw Social Distortion there, Human Drama, and dozens more I can't remember the names of.

Figuring I was ready to see some real old school (in 1988) punk, Mike took me to see The Dickies playing scream. By that point, he'd filled me in on a bunch of punk rock history, including the rift between The Ramones, who coined the term "punk rock," and The Sex Pistols, which were a band put together to take advantage of the early punk movement.

Anyhow, Mike and I were walking up to Scream, which was in an old theater in the Wilshire district, if I recall right. There was always a lunch truck parked out front, serving the punkers, goths, glams, and assorted misfits showing up to hear the bands. As we walked up, I saw some guy nearby with long black hair that reminded me of Slash from Guns-n-Roses. The guy had on a brand spankin' new Ramones T-shirt, as well, so I figured he was some poser. So I said, "Hey Mike, check out the Slash clone in the Ramones shirt." Mike looked over at the guy... and stopped dead in his tracks. He put his arm out to prevent me from walking any farther, they way your mom did when you were in the car as a kid and she had to stop fast. I looked at Mike. He just said, "We are in the presence of godness," in a freaky, serious tone of voice.

"What?" I asked, unable to figure out why he was acting so weird.

"Dude, that's Joey Ramone!" Mike explained.

As much as I heard Mike talk about The Ramones, I hadn't been to a show yet, or even seen a video of them. So I damn near ran into Joey without realizing who he was. As it turned out, Joey Ramone was heading in to see The Dickies play, since the bands were friends and often toured together. But was Joey was hungry, and headed to the lunch truck. Mike was in awe, and we follwed. A panhandler walked up to Joey Ramone as he looke for goodies in the truck, and asked Joey for a quarter. He noticed Joey's T-shirt. "The Ramones," the panhandler said, "I like the Ramones." He had no idea who he was talking to. Joey reached into his pocket, pulled out a quarter, and gave it to the panhandler, who smiled and walked away. "Ramones... yeah... good band," the panhandler continued, heading towards Mike and me. "And the Sex Pistols, I like them too." Joey turned back towards the panhandler, "Sex Pistols? Hey, give me my quarter back."

The panhandler walked away confused, and Mike and I just started cracking up, which got a laugh out of Joey. Have no fear this is a true story. I only wound up seeing The Ramones once, at Irvine Meadows. Never got the full club experience of seeing them play The Paladium. But meeting Joey at a lunch truck made up for that.

Thanks Mike.

My only question now is, what would Tank Girl do?

How to panhandle a drug store

2012-01-17T16:17:00.000-08:00

We all know what contemporary drug stores look like, they're the same all across the country. Whether it's Walgreen's or CVS, they all have block walls, usually high windows, and a door at the corner. Most of them are open 24 hours, and these features make them one of the best places for late night panhandling. Like many other businesses, drug stores are back up spots to make emergency money for the next day. If the cops shut down your favorite off ramp for the day, you can head to the drug store to make that money needed for the next day's bus pass, a beer, food, or whatever.

Here's what you do: Stand on one side of the door or the other, I always prefer the side with the biggest section of parking lot. As someone heads into the store, unload your spiel politely. "Excuse me ma'am, I'm trying to catch a bus and I'm 40 cents short, can you spare a little change?" Or whatever your spiel is, that's just an example. Most of the time, they will say "No," which is fine. Then you say, "Sorry to bother you," and let them walk in the store. Then you ask the next person walking in. In A LOT of cases, the person who said no to you on the way into the store will offer some change, or a dollar or two, on the way out.

One night in my year on the streets on Orange County, I had almost enough money to get a cheap motel room for the night, get a shower, and get out of the cold. But I was four dollars short. This was in Buena Park, near Knott's Berry Farm. I walked to a 24 hour drug store nearby and set up on one side of the door. Unfortunately, on the other side of the door was a woman panhandling. In a desperate attempt for cash, she sat down on the pavement, started crying, pulled up the leg of her sweats, and took off her artificial leg. I'm totally serious. I thought, "Oh shit, I have to compete with that?" But I took it as a challenge, and I was super polite and super professional in my panhandling, while the one legged bitch whined and cried and moaned. I had five dollars for my motel room within five minutes, and she hadn't made a cent. That felt good. So did my first luke warm shower in a month, and the over soft bed felt incredible.

As with all business panhandling, if the owner or manager comes out and runs you off, be polite and leave. Then go back half an hour later if you still need a couple bucks.

How to panhandle a big box store

2011-12-27T13:17:00.000-08:00

"Big box" stores like Sam's Club, Costco, Home Depot, Lowes and others are good for some quick, hit and run, one on one panhandling. You can't make much money at one, but you can almost always make a quick two or three bucks for food or bus fare. Here's how:

Stand near the edge of the parking lot and scope the place out a bit. What you want is people coming out to their car with a really big shopping cart or one of those flat carts loaded up. Walk towards them non-chalantly, and make sure you have your panhandling spiel (your story) well rehearsed. As soon as they open the car or truck and start unloading, say, "Excuse me," and then go into your spiel about how you need the money for food, bus fare, or to buy grandma some Depends diapers, or whatever. People want to ignore you and keep unloading, but hovering around, even politely, bothers most people. Usually they'll give you a dollar ot two just to get rid of you. Say "Thank you, and walk towards the bus stop or some other place out of sight. This makes them think that you really did just need a buck or two, and that they're really helping you. If you need more money, wait until that car leaves, and then walk through the parking lot again and repeat the process. Most of these places have security, so it's best to leave after you hit two or three people, then come back another day.

Big box stores are best used as emergency panhandling spots, ones to go to when kicked off the off ramp or other times when panhandling elsewhere can't be done.

Basic panhandler rules

2011-12-19T12:31:00.001-08:00

It's the holiday season, and I've been hit up by panhandlers left and right. I'm sure you have too. Since I'm a former panhandler, one who actually had to live off of panhandling for a year, I have some standards for people I give money to. I'm currently part of the "working homeless," meaning that I work full time, but still can't afford a real place to live. It's definitely the worst part of the homeless world. Anyhow, here are some of the unwritten rules of the panhandling world.

1. Have a decent spiel. Your spiel is the story you tell people to get them to give you money. If you're asking people for money one on one, make up a decent story and rehearse it a little. People often say they want to hear the truth from a panhandler, but that's not really true. The truth is too involved and often far worse than the story you make up for your spiel.

2. Don't panhandle where you eat. It's just bad form. If you're going to get a burger at McDonald's, then go down the street to Burger King to panhandle. People like to give you a dollar (or more) and then have you disappear. They don't want to sit and watch you eat. They really don't want to watch you eat at a $10 all-you-can-eat-buffet right next to where you were just panhandling.

3. Don't panhandle mall parking lots. There's always security, people are in shopping mode, and there are always better places near the mall to panhandle.

4. Be polite. You're asking complete strangers for money. If they give you money, take it, say "Thanks" and then leave them alone. I had a guy yesterday hit me up at a gas station. I gave him a dollar and said, "I know how it is, I was panhandling last Christmas. I'm still homeless, I just live in my taxi now." The stupid motherfucker said, "No you don't, you're lying." I seriously thought about kicking his ass and taking my dollar back. Fuckin' crackheads.

5. Don't panhandle your friends and acquaintances. Since I stayed in two homeless shelters here in Winston-Salem while looking for work, I know most of the bums in this town. I'm working 100 hours a week just to scrape by in my taxi, and these losers keep asking me for money. Don't do that.

John Stossel panhandling

2011-12-12T17:24:00.000-08:00

Months ago I got an email from a guy claiming to be the producer for John Stossel, the FOX news guy. I was leery, but traded a couple emails and did some research and realized the guy seemed legit. He found this blog and asked me for some background information on panhandling. So I typed up three long emails of all the basic info I could think of, including what I learned from personal experience in my year on the streets as a panhandler in Southern California. I told him that I don't drink or do drugs, and why I wound up homeless and panhandling. I told him everything I thought would help, including how much I actually made, and didn't make when I was panhandling. I told him why non-profit organizations try to outlaw panhandling because they think it hurts their income from charitable contributions. By the way, all non-profits beg for money, too, as do all politicians. I figured the show they were making would suck, but I did my best to answer all of the producer's questions.

The clip above is the first part of the John Stossel special "Freeloaders." I was actually impressed with the way it came out. who wound up being the biggest freeloader? GE... General Electric... one of the biggest corporations in the United States.

By the way, that first panhandler is John Stossel himself.

Interesting Times

2011-11-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

On my old school BMX blog I'm currently doing a series of posts about the Occupy Wall Street movement, which I think is a huge turning point for our country. Check out these thoughts at Freestyle BMX Tales.

The main types of panhandling

2011-10-24T16:40:00.000-07:00

There are 4 types of panhandling:

1. One on one panhandling- You walk up to people on the street and ask them for some spare change.

2. Flying a sign- You stand on a freeway off ramp, street corner, or busy sidewalk with a cardboard sign asking for a dollar or two.

3. Start a non-profit organization- You throw parties for rich people and ask them for donations of thousands of dollars, some of which pays your salary.

4. Running for public office- You put on a suit, sign up as a politician, walk up to people on the street, and ask them for hundreds or thousands of dollars each.

Thoughts on 9/11

2011-08-31T17:39:00.000-07:00

For ten years I've kept my thoughts on the 9/11 tragedy largely to myself, but now I'm writing them on my conspiracy blog, to give readers another perspective as we near the tenth anniversary of that horrible day. These posts are on my conspiracy blog: Shining Light at Cockroaches. Whatever questions you have... never stop asking.

I'm working now.

2011-08-23T16:39:00.000-07:00

I was planning to do a whole series of posts on all my tips for panhandling. But I got a delayed tax check a coupple months ago, which was enough to get me started as a taxi driver here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. The taxi business is horrible here, and I'm now working 100+ hours a week, and living in the cab, able to get a cheap motel room one night a week. I don't have a computer, or any way to post from the cab, so this blog is on hold indefinitely. Someday I may be able to get going on it again, but I just can't now. Thanks to all of you who read this, and believe it or not, quite a few people read this.

With a whole lot of luck, the taxi driving will allow me to escape North Carolina, get back to California, and start actually writing some real books or something. Maybe. If the Christian Mafia will let me escape North Carolina... which they probably won't.

Christian Mafia? Don't ask... it's a loooooong story. Google "Jeff Sharlett, the Family," "American Facists" or anyone looking into the Christian power structure behind the Tea Party (Sig Heil!) and you'll get an idea who I got tangled up with. There's some really, really crazy stuff happening in this world today folks. Like this. The stuff I'm speaking of has nothing to do with average, American, church going Christian people... I just want to make that clear. It's a wacky world, folks.

How to give to panhandlers

2011-05-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

Here's an old school No Doubt song that pretty much sums up most panhandlers.

You roll up a freeway off ramp and there's a dirty guy with a funny sign standing there, you think, "What the hell, I'll give him a buck." What do you do next? Is there an eitiquette to it or something? What if he's crazy and he tries to carjack me? Is it safe to give a bum a buck?

Judging by all the reactions I've seen while panhandling, those are some of the things going through people's minds when they see a panhandler. So first of all, let me say that panhandlers are generally a pretty mellow bunch. I've never heard of a panhandler car jacking anyone or anything like that. That's the thugs, a whole different group. Panhandlers can be dirty, smelly, and occasionally cranky, but we're not a violent bunch.

So grab that $100 bill you intend to give the panhandler. Oh, did I add a couple zeros by accident? I meant that dollar bill (cheapskate), or how 'bout a two or three dollars (come on... you can spare a five). Roll down your window and wave the money around a bit. If you're really scared of the bum, just roll your window down a few inches and stick your hand out. Usually the panhandler will be paying attention, and will come up, take the money, and say "Thank you." Yeah, good panhandlers always say, "thank you." If they don't see you, yell at 'em, they won't mind.

You can always say something like, "Good luck," or whatever. If it's a long light, you can ask a quick question. Once a panhandler gets the money though, they should be scanning other cars in case someone else is offering. Sometimes there's a moment of awkward silence when neither person knows what to say. You know when you go out for a wild night and wind up picking up a one-legged transexual hooker? You have a couple hours of freaky sex and then there's that weird, awkward silence? It's kinda like that with panhandlers sometimes. So just wish them good luck and roll up the window. That way you can both get on with your business.

If you start feeling a little more courageous, and you see the same panhandler again, you can wave or strike up a quick conversation. It's a test of courage for the average person, and usually the panhandlers look forward to the regulars coming by. Panhandlers may be broke, sweaty, smelly, dirty, and missing a few teeth, but they are people too. Most of the time, anyway, once in the while it's an alien out there on the ramp.

Oh, and if you're one of those goody bag people who won't give cash because you don't want to support someone's addiction, use a gallon size Ziploc bag, and put in whatever you think they might like. The standard goody bag contains a granola bar or two, maybe a couple small pieces of candy, a bottle of water, and a napkin. BORING. Sure, it's a cheap meal, but I know you, you can do better. Get creative, if you're going to go to that much trouble, try to give the bum a goody bag he or she will remember. Give them a Hustler magazine. Wait, that's probably not a great idea, though it would be appreciated. Here are some other things you could give:
Gatorade, cheap can of soda, Ding Dongs, Twinkies, Cupcakes, sunflower seeds, small bag of chips, trail mix, fruit cups, Jello cups, pudding cups, Pop Tarts, Cup O' Noodles (in cup), pop open can of beef stew or chili. The best goody bag I ever got was a Christmas gift bag with three handmade loaves of bread, and over 30 cookies. Crazy. I also got a can of Stagg's Steakhouse Chili, which was AWESOME. I've been gvien dozens of tacos, pizza slices, pre-packaged sandwiches, and one lady went home, cooked a huge bowl of grilled chicken and rice, and brought it back to the off ramp. Crazy. I fed about six other people with that. I also had a guy offer me a frozen turkey on Christmas Eve once. He couldn't understand that I had no place to cook it.
Money's always better, but a goody bag is cool, too.

Panhandling in Greensboro NC

2011-05-24T12:18:00.000-07:00

Here's a news clip on panhandling from WFMY in Greensboro, North Carolina, about 15 miles form me. When I saw a promo for this the other day, I thought, "Oh crap, another news piece telling people that every panhandler is a worthless drunk and you shouldn't give them anything." Much to my surprise, it's not a bad report. For once they get to the heart of the matter, here in central North Carolina, there is still nearly 10% unemployment, and most of the panhandlers are people who worked most of their lives. For most of its history, this area, like much of the country, was a factory based economy. Most of those jobs disappeared. Many of those workers are having a really hard time finding other work. I personally know one guy who panhandled here in Winston-Salem for a while who spent over 25 years fixing textile machinery. That job went overseas suddenly. That guy is one of the more intelligent people I've met here, and works odd jobs. But he hasn't found a good paying, steady job since. He's one of the few people I've met here that I'd hire in a second if I had a business. But he couldn't find steady work. He's moved on to another area, most likely working short term jobs when possible, and panhandling in between to get by.

This piece gets to the heart of the biggest issue here in the Piedmont Triad area, and that's the fact that there's a very hard working, but unentrepreneurial background here. People here are used to a good, steady paycheck for doing manual work. It's not a high tech crowd here, though civic leaders are working to attract and train people in those fields. More important, though, is that people just don't think about opening businesses here like in California where I'm from.

when a recession hits California, there are people who say, "Well, I could work a crappy paying job that I don't like to survive, or I could start a small business and enjoy a job that doesn't pay. In my opinion, that's what the Triad, and much of the country, really needs. People to see that there's another way to deal with job loss. Most people have some kind of skill that they could form a small business around. I live in a homeless shelter right now, and even there, in a room full of crackheads, there's a lot of talent. What people don't have here is the entrepreneurial skills to start those businesses. We need Robert Kiyosaki (of Rich Dad, Poor Dad fame) and similar people to speak to anyone interested about the alternatives to trying to live on unemployment or panhandling. How about a Entrepreneurial Training Center where average people can both attend workshops and give them? Most people have some talent they could teach others. With a little formal leadership, I think this area could breed a big crop of entrepreneurs that could 1) Get themselves working again, 2)help each other survive the trials of a small business, and 3)hire other people who need work.

I come from the BMX and skateboarding world, which was a bunch of sweaty, dirtbag kids in the 1980's and is now a couple of multi-billion dollar industries. You never know what a room full of entrepreneurial people may lead to.

Oh, and Frank Mickens, if you don't know if those homeless people's stories are true, INVESTIGATE. You're a reporter man.

A positive panhandling article in Huffington Post

2011-05-23T13:39:00.001-07:00

I'd like tho thank Attiyya Anthony for a heartfelt and positive article today about panhandlers in the Huffington Post. Like her, in my pre-panhandling days I spent a lot of time where panhandlers frequented. I didn't ride NYC subways, I was a BMX street rider always wandering into sketchy neighborhoods looking for cool stuff to ride. I met a lot of homeless people, and bought food and the occasional beer for several of them over the years. Like Attiyya, I think homeless people are a part of what gives a city its character. There are quite a few homeless people that I met while not homeless that left an indelible imprint on my mind. I can tell you where I first saw a panhandling sign that said, "Why lie? I need a beer." It was about a block from Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco, 1998 or so. I just started cracking up, gave the guy a dollar, and talked to him for maybe a minute. More than a decade later, I still remember that little incident.

Yes, there are panhandlers that are scammers. Yes, the hood is full of sketchy people. But there are also a lot of really colorful souls who don't fit into our conformist mainstream society. At the moment I'm one of those souls. I panhandle now using only funny signs, and I actually have fans. There are people who switch lanes when they see me just to see what my sign says that day. Last week I flew a sign that said, "Why lie? I need a Lexus." I had at least fifteen cell phone photos taken in a couple hours. Three people told me it was the funniest panhandling sign they'd ever seen. One said he'd made me a Facebook hero with the photos he's taken of me.

As I've said many times in this blog, I don't drink, and don't do drugs. I got into taxi driving when it was going downhill. I made a few bad decisions. But a lot of what put me in this position was family drama and people who are just plain mean. I may panhandle to get by at the moment, but I try to at least entertain people driving by me, and give back what I can. Quite a few appreciate that. But you very, VERY rarely see panhandling and homelessness portrayed in a positive light in the mainstream media. So many props to Attiyya Anthony for her piece in HuffPost.

What's Ted Williams doing now

2011-05-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

So what's the world's most famous panhandler, Ted "Golden Voice" Williams doing now? His amazing voice got him job offers, instant fame, new teeth, a meet and greet with Kobe Bryant, and hassled by Dr.Phil. Then he seemed to disappear. Now, the truth is out, Ted was zapped back in time and turned into a cartoon character on Fat Albert.

Check out my other blogs

2011-05-17T12:09:00.000-07:00

I landed here in North Carolina after a pretty crazy decade and there's no decent paying work here for a guy with my particular skills. Being bummed on the whole situation, and having time on my hands and a computer at my disposal, I started blogging. Here's my main blogs you may want to check out.

Session Sports 43- This one is a collection of action sports clips, contest info, and articles on BMX, skateboarding, FSMX, snowboarding, free skiing, zines, street art, and stuff like that.

Thoughts on the Creative Class- This is my newest blog, commenting on Professor Richard Florida's thoughts in his book The Rise of the Creative Class, and subsequent books. Can you start a creative scene in your city that will lead to thriving new school businesses? That's what this blog explores.

Freestyle BMX Tales- I spent about fifteen years of my life focused on BMX freestyle and a bit of skateboarding, and working in those industries in the 1980's and 1990's. This blog tells stories from those days.

FREESTYLIN' Mag Tales- Did you know Jackass movie executive producer Spike Jonze and director Jeff Tremaine worked at FREESTYLIN' BMX magazine in the 1980's? I worked there for a while before they came on board, and this blog tells stories from my short stint at the legendary BMX magazines.

Shining Light at Cockroaches- A lot of what happens in the world doesn't make sense unless you take conspiracies and backroom deals into account. This blog looks into some of that stuff.

A Deeper Look-What are human beings capable of? How far can people push their abilities and talents? What people have knowledge that we all should understand? This blog looks into human potential and ideas that could make our world a better place to live.

The White Bear's Comic Freak Show- In this blog I collect a bunch of comedy bits and random stuff I think is funny. Need a laugh, check out this blog.

The White Bear's Poetry Blog- I've written a lot of poetry over the years, most of which got lost when I moved to North Carolina, when I lost my life's work. In this blog I'm putting the rest of the stuff I have copies of, so I don't lost it all again.

Streets of Winston-Salem- Somehow I wound up in a once rich city in the South. Here's what I see in this city as I drive my taxi around it.

Why did I ever start a panhandling blog

2011-05-04T06:24:00.000-07:00

I started this blog 176 posts and about a year and a half ago. It was a joke initially, I never meant for anyone to read it. I was just testing some ideas I learned about for moving a blog up in the Google ranks... search engine optimization, for those of you into affiliate marketing. The "Great Recession" (nothing "great" about it) was going full bore. The taxi industry in Orange County, California pretty much collapsed, and I ended up out of work and homeless. Then I finally took up my family's offer of a plane ticket to North Carolina, where my parents and sister and brother-in-law wound up. Then my family wouldn't loan me the money to get my stuff out of storage in Huntington Beach. My stuff included a Digital8 video camera, a Mac Powerbook laptop with Final Cut, and a collection of video footage of BMX freestylers, jumpers, and skateboarders going back to 1989. I also lost the remaining master tapes to BMX and skate videos I produced and edited.

At age 42, I found myself out of work, broke, fat, sleeping on an air mattress in the spare bedroom of my parents' tiny apartment, and I was in North Carolina. AND I'd lost my life's work, which could have easily turned into a new career making old school BMX documentaries. It was one of the darkest times in my adult life. I'd spent more than 20 years in and around the BMX and skateboard world, much of that in Huntington Beach, California, a hub of that world. In the Triad area of North Carolina, that world doesn't really exist. I went looking for work, and couldn't even find a restaurant job, mostly because of the recession. With nothing to do, I started a blog called FREESTYLIN' Mag Tales, about my short stint at Wizard Publications, which published BMX Action and FREESTYLIN' magazines. The blog went viral in its little niche of old school BMXers, and I reconnected online with people I hadn't talked to in years. I was a computer retard, having never delved into the online world until late 2008. I began to realize that it was possible to make money online, and started looking into affiliate marketing, and other ways to make money using the web, since that's all I had at the time.

I started this blog to test out ideas that I learned from the affiliate guys. Within a couple weeks, this blog was on the front page of Google search results, and a few people were actually reading it. I realized I could talk about a bunch of things in this blog that I couldn't elsewhere, and kept at it. Within a few weeks, this blog was in the top 3 search results on Google, which is quite an accomplishment since it has the words "make money" in the title. that was the whole point.

But I was still out of work, and couldn't get anything going online, due mainly to family drama. But I kept blogging. I tried to turn this into an affiliate blog for a while, but that didn't work. So I kept blogging, because I had a lot of ideas.

Then the crazy incident with Ted "Golden Voice" Williams happened. It looks now like that was a planned P.R. campaign to raise awareness of panhandling nationwide. That allowed cities nationwide to enact poorly worded (and usually unconstitutional) panhandling laws. Hate to say it, but these P.R (public relations aka propaganda) campaigns are standard operating procedure in the U.S. these days. When you've worked in the TV industry, like I have, it's easy to tell certain stories were pre-planned. I don't think Ted Williams had anything to do with it, he was just the lucky recipient because he had a readily marketable talent. He got some immediate, well paying, voice over work, and the media machine made him an instant celebrity. Then he disappeared. There's talk of a TV movie, which will undoubtedly happen, and he'll be all over the media again in a few months. If he can ride that crazy celebrity wave, which hardly anyone can, he'll make a good living for life from businesses started with all the money he makes. But more likely, he'll get pushed over the edge and the news will report every binder he goes on, like all the ridiculous Lindsay Lohan hype.

Why? Because these P.R. campaigns posing as news make hundreds of millions of dollars and push a particular social agenda of people working in the shadows. It's crazy, but true.

Anyhow, I just happened to have the only serious panhandling blog when the Ted Williams story hit, and this STUPID blog gets about 3,800 page views a month right now. For me, this whole thing has been an experiment while I struggled through a horrible time in my life. Times are still tough here in North Carolina, with unemployment still near 10 percent officially. So I either have to start a action sports related business here, or head back to California. It will take a hell of a business opportunity to keep me here. There's just so much more going on in California.

I'm pretty much over this blog. So I'm going to wind it down by actually teaching all of you to panhandle in the last 20 or 30 posts. There's going to be a lot of crazy stuff happening in the next five or ten years as the New World Order tightens the noose on all of us. A lot of people doing well today may wind up having to panhandle five or ten years from now. So I'll teach you all the tricks just in case that becomes necessary someday. Honestly, I hope that no one has to go through the crap I did in the last ten years, it was ridiculous. But some people will, so I'll teach you all what I've learned.

This blog has been an experiment for me from the very first post. It changed and evolved, and allowed me to explore blogging and many ideas I wouldn't have otherwise. I even got to do some research for reporter John Stossel, which is cool. I haven't made a dime off this blog, but I've learned a lot, and that made it worth it for me. If nothing else, I can say I had the world's premiere panhandling blog for a couple years. Just thinking of that makes me laugh. And I'm a comedian at heart, so hopefully it makes you laugh, too.

George Carlin's cure for homelessness

2011-04-25T14:32:00.000-07:00

This is about 20 years old, and Carlin's been dead for about three years, but it's still the best idea about homelessness I've ever heard. It is a typical George Carlin bit, which means there are a lot of cuss words, so keep that in mind if you watch this at work when you're supposed to be doing something constructive. Years ago I worked in a video store (remember those?), and I used to watch this over and over in the morning when no one was around. This was written in the pre-Tiger Woods era, if you're wondering about the racist part. Even after Tiger, there still aren't many brothers in the PGA, it's the only way rich white guys can dominate a sport.

Happy Easter

2011-04-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

A couple thousand years ago a spiritual teacher and healer named Jesus was killed on a Roman torture device called a cross. And now people who call themselves his followers (though rarely quote his actual teachings in church) celebrate his torture, death, and resurrection with colored eggs, bunny rabbits, and jelly beans. Tell me again how rabbits and jelly beans came into this... Anyhow, have a good Easter or whatever you celebrate in the springtime.

Remember everyone...
Jesus was homeless.

Here's the link from the comments, Easter eggs are now "Spring spheres?"

Happy Stoners New Year

2011-04-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

It's April 20th today, or 4/20. If you get stoned, or know someone who does, then you know it's Stoner's New Year or the national pot smoking holiday. I put up some funny videos and links to the real 420 story on my Session Sports 43 blog. I don't smoke pot now, and haven't for over 20 years, well, except that one time I was partying with co-workers from Cirque du Soleil in '98. Besides the whole getting high thing, the hemp plant has thousands of legitimate uses. We should put the plant back in use in those ways.

Robotic Beggar

2011-04-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

Damn technology! Some crazy Japanese inventor apparently came up with this... they invented a robotic beggar. It appears to be making far more than most workers. Wait, that's China. As if I didn't have enough going against me, now technology is taking over the panhandling world. at least it doesn't take credit cards...

My favorite panhandling song

2011-04-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

Back in 2001, when I first panhandled, a red corvette drove up the ramp and stopped next to me one day. This song, Prince's "Little Red Corvette," popped into my head, and I started singing it, as best I could remember. The next light, a lady pulled up and gave me a $20 bill. "Little Red Corvette" has been my favorite panhandling song ever since. It almost always comes through. Whenever it pops into my head and I start singing it, someone hands me some money soon after. It California, it was almost always good for a $20, or at least a $10. I got a $100 bill while singing it once.

Here in North Carolina, it's good for a couple dollars usually. People here don't hook up panhandlers like they do in California. They'd rather give $100 to a non-profit group, and that money usually pays the salary of an incompetent social worker who couldn't find a real job, and maybe $2 of that money actually makes it to a homeless person. Seriously, that's how much of a racket the homeless industry is. Yes, I said industry. That's why some people panhandle, and why less moral poor people steal or sell drugs. The non-profit programs are a joke unless you're really, REALLY lazy and just want a free apartment and food for pretending to be crazy.

My second favorite panhandling song

2011-04-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

In panhandling, like gambling, "you never count your money when you're sitting at the table, there'll be time enough to for counting, when the dealings done." Dude, this Muppet Show version of "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers is awesome. I never saw it before. Panhandling is always a gamble, and a lot of times you lose, one way or the other. That's why I' like this song.

My third favorite panhandling song

2011-04-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

I may have been exiled to North Carolina, but I'm an Orange County, California guy, and Social Distortion is my favorite band. Ball and Chain isn't my favorite Social D song, it's just the easiest one to remember the words two, and I sing it almost every time I'm on the ramp. It just fits the situation. I sing "She's a Knockout" a lot, too. "...times are hard and getting harder, I'm born to lose, and destined to fail..." Amen.

My fourth favorite panhanlding song

2011-04-19T07:06:00.000-07:00

The ultimate hobo song, which was a huge hit in its day, "King of the Road," by Roger Miller. I got into this song after watching the movie Into the Wild.

My fifth favorite panhandling song

2011-04-19T06:58:00.000-07:00

I heard someone say years ago that surf music evolved because surfers wanted to have a cool song in their head while they're sitting out there waiting for waves. If that's true, this is one of the great ones, Dick Dale's "Miserlou," which most of you know from the movie Pulp Fiction. When I'm panhandling, I almost always have a song running in my head, and usually I'm singing or humming it out loud. It passes the time.

Panhandling summed in one song

2011-04-19T06:54:00.000-07:00

Read the comments on the last post and you'll understand...

I'm not going to sue Winston-Salem

2011-04-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

As I've said a few times, I'm now "working" as a panhandler legally in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Since so few people give to panhandlers here in North Carolina, I decided to take on a persona on the off ramp. I call it The Off Ramp Comic (TM). I exclusively use funny signs now. Theoretically, I do it to amuse people on their commutes to and from work and lunch. In reality, the panhandling here was so bad after they legalized it, that I started using funny signs just to amuse myself. It wasn't worth it to stand there just for the money, because at times I'd stand on the ramp for an hour or two without getting a penny. In California, by comparison, if I wasn't making $10 to $15 and hour, I'd walk away. Because of the police pressure out there, I rarely stood anywhere for an hour or more. Usually a half hour on the ramp would yield $7 to $10, and I'd be good for the day. Here in Winston-Salem, I'm lucky if a half hour yields $2 most of the time. So I started using funny signs, and was able to make a little bit of money while amusing myself with the reactions to my funny signs. A few people really like them, and several have taken phone photos or video of them. I'm also pulling in a little more money, sometimes $15 or more for two or three hours on the ramp. I can't do it much longer than that because I get tired and sunburned. Until I can find a job or start driving a taxi, that will have to do. Because of the new law, the police routinely stop by and check my permit. All the panhandlers, without permits have either been run off, or arrested, except one. I'm not sure what happened to them. The officer who checked my permit Friday, after running me, said, "I'm glad you decided to do this legally." He seemed to be relieved that he didn't have to ticket or arrest me." So for all of the Winston-Salem police reading this, I'm telling you, I have no intention of challenging the panhandling law. It's a poorly written law, and eventually someone will challenge it. But not me. I'm not going to sue the city, unless you guys roll up and taze me or something, of course. I just want to make a few bucks and move on to a better phase of my life. If I was to sue the city, that would greatly reduce my chances of ever getting back home to California. That's my whole goal in life right now, getting back to California so I can actually make a living again. I'm an intelligent and creative guy from the alternative sports world. There's no future for me in this state. I want to panhandle until I can get a job, and then work until I can move back to California. That's it. I'll be off that ramp and out of here as soon as freakin' possible. Oh, and to the sheriff's deputy who always laughs at my signs and gives me a thumbs up, thanks. JUst checked Bing, which I never do, but 5 of the first 7 panhandling signs are mine. Cool.

Things you'll never hear in a TV report about panhandlers

2011-04-09T12:55:00.000-07:00

The John Stossel "Freeloading" report on panhandlers in the last post is about as good as it's going to get on mainstream news. But here are a few things national news doesn't know, and wouldn't report if they did. -I spent 4 1/2 of the seven years I've been homeless working 80 to 120 hours a week as a taxi driver. I just didn't make enough consistently to rent an apartment at that time because of the ridiculously high taxi lease ($550 to $825 a week) and the lack of business because of company mismanagement. I spent another 9 months of homeless time working a minimum wage restaurant job while living in the bushes. In California, I could NEVER get a place to live working that job. Ever. -I have been a first responder to 12 or 15 accidents while I've been homeless. By "first responder," I mean I was one of the first people on the scene. In several cases, I was the first person on the scene. In every case I checked for serious injuries, and then usually started directing traffic until the police and paramedics arrived. Most accidents, I've found, don't have serious injuries, and directing traffic is the best way to help until the "official" first responders arrive. One of these accidents was at Campus and Bristol North in Newport Beach during morning rush hour. It's three lanes each way, and literally thousands of cars go through that intersection in an hour at that time of day. One guy saw me run out and direct traffic, and followed me to McDonald's, where I had breakfast. He laid a ten dollar bill down on my table and said, "I saw what you did this morning at the accident," then walked out the door. I guess you'd call that instant karma. The last accident I responded to was the day before yesterday at 5th and Spring here in Winston-Salem. I directed traffic for about ten minutes until the police arrived. -I've talked at least three people out of suicide while I was homeless, two of them in the last few months. One of those guys I talked out of it twice. -I kept a guy from stabbing another guy on Christmas Day here in Winston-Salem. People in the hood are big on caring knives here. I guess it's better than carrying guns. -I fed over 100 people with the leftover food given to me while I was panhandling. Panhandlers typically share food with each other. But I gave food to over 100 non-panhandlers (the lazy homeless people). -Most homeless people do this at some level. I'm just telling you what I know. If someone's down, you talk to them. If they're suicidal, you tell them a dirty joke or something to get their mind off it. If you have extra food, you share or trade it. Some people do this more than others, but most do it at some level. These are the things the news media never sees and will never report.

John Stossel's report on panhandlers

2011-04-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

What do you know, they actually did it. I was contacted a couple months ago by a person who said he was John Stossel's producer. this happened shortly after the Ted "Golden Voice" Williams incident. The producer said they were thinking about doing a piece on panhandling. He found my blog, and asked for whatever background info I could give him. The email looked legit, but you never know with the web. I first spent a couple hours looking at John Stossel reports, including the old one he did in about 2005 about panhandling. The email I was sent mentioned Fox News, and to be honest, I almost deleted it because Fox News is generally horrible. But after researching John Stossel's work, I found that he seemed to give things a pretty fair report. so I sent the producer three emails of basic panhandling info, including answering several specific questions he had. I was actually pretty stoked he contacted me because I'm a real panhandler. A writer/blogger and former TV crew guy and video producer who wound up homeless (without drugs and alcohol, let's make that clear). Panhandling quite literally saved my life. I survived for a year in California by panhandling. I've met dozens of panhandlers, I've been harassed by dozens of police. I've lived on the streets. Sober. I know how many horrible things happen to homeless people. I know how false accusations by a family member can put your life in danger. I know how hard it is to get your life going again. I told the producer that. So what do I think of the finished piece? Honestly, I wish they could have found one panhandler who actually wanted to work, it's not really that hard. But they did a good job. There are hustlers panhandling, but not all panhandlers are hustlers. And Stossel's crew put panhandling in the context of people who get much greater amounts of money with government help, which is good. In the scheme of things, the amount of money given to panhandlers is tiny compared to other things your taxes and donated money pay for. Oh, and I'd like to slap the blond woman interviewed in this piece. Or I'd at least like to know her background. What kind of person do you have to be to tell people not to give to homeless people? One more thing I liked, John Stossel actually got out there to panhandle. He's an intelligent, charismatic guy. And he made about $8 an hour in a place with pretty heavy foot traffic. He didn't make $50 or $100 or $300. I think John Stossel and his team did a good job on the subject, and I'm glad they found me and gave me the opportunity to contribute to this report. Just for the record, I told the producer I had TV industry experience, and they didn't offer me job. I don't really want to New York, so that's probably for the best. Here's the final part of the show embeded above, turns out rich people and corporations are the biggest freeloaders: John Stossel "Freeloaders" show 3/25/2011 part B John Stossel "Freeloaders" show 3/25/2011 parts C

More thoughts from another site

2011-04-09T10:16:00.000-07:00

I got a lot of hits on this blog recently from Above Top Secret website. I didn't read it all, but someone on the thread linked to my blog. Thanks. I did read the "tried to hire a homeless person" piece. Yeah, a lot of panhandlers don't want to work, many actually do have disabilities. But quite a few actually will do work. Most have done physical labor in their lives, and most of the panhandlers I have known actually do odd jobs in addition to panhandling. By the way writer... who are you. Where are you. This is the internet, none of us reading actually know if you really tried to hire a homeless guy or not. It is the internet, after all. If all us panhandlers actually make so much money, then why don't we have houses. Somebody... ANYBODY... please show me ONE PLACE where YOU can make $300 panhandling in a day. I've NEVER seen anyone do it. ANYWHERE. I'd really love someone to prove me wrong. Oh and all those pop-up ads are really annoying Above Top Secret publishers.

Knife fight in Winston-Salem

2011-04-05T07:38:00.000-07:00

I saw a lot of fist fights working as taxi driver in Huntington Beach, California. But yesterday, outside the shelter where I'm staying in Winston-Salem, there was a full blown knife fight. I got back there early, because there's a church group that comes by and gives out goodie bags. Yeah, I know, I'm always ragging on born again Christians for not giving to panhandlers, but there are a bunch of church groups that do provide good meals, and I do appreciate that. The meals help keep you alive, but don't help you get a job or get your life going again, that's what sucks about the whole homeless thing. Anyhow, I was sitting by the side of the building, and there were maybe 50 or 60 people standing around in the parking lot waiting for the church group. Suddenly I heard a woman yell, "They got knives!" I wasn't really listening, and I looked up, thinking, "What'd she say?" I saw everyone looking over one direction, and sure enough, there were two guys with big honkin' knives swinging at each other. In typical ghetto fashion, I don't remember what they looked like, but I do remember the knives. One had a Bowie knife knock off, and the other had a large, straight blade hunting knife. It was freakin' serious, too. I'd never actually seen a knife fight live, well, except for the time I pulled a knife on a guy in California who was drunk and said he was going to make me his bitch. I had been sleeping at a bus stop when the drunk idiot stumbled up and started saying that. When he saw I was serious, he wandered off. Anyhow, yesterday, these two guys were fighting, I got up to watch, and get out of the way if necessary. They were taking big, full arm swings at each other, which told me two things: 1) Neither really knew how to fight with knives, which was good, and 2) If one hit the other, there would be a serious wound and a lot of blood. One guy wound up dropping his knife, and the other guy didn't move in on him, which was good. We didn't want a body lying there when the church group showed up with snacks, it wouldn't be polite. One guy actually sort of stepped in, and tried to get them to calm down. He didn't get too close, but he helped break the momentum of the fight. As soon as they heard police sirens, they both took off. Neither got cut. Neither got arrested, and we were eating snacks by the time the police showed up. Good thing neither of those guys ever watched the movie The Hunted, with Benecio Del Toro and Tommy Lee Jones. They show some hardcore kali/penjat silat inspired knife fighting in that movie. The Hunted movie trailer linked features Tom Brown, Jr., who was trained by an old Apache scout as a kid, and teaches tracking and wilderness survival now.

Things homeless people need money for

2011-03-30T06:37:00.000-07:00

Average people have this sense that the only reason people panhandle is to get money for beer, booze, or drugs. Sure, a lot of homeless people spend some of their money on those things, but so do most of you. Getting back on your feet from homelessness takes a lot of money, one way or the other. When you've lost everything, most of the money you get goes to things average people don't think about. Here's some of those things.

-day to day food while you're looking for a job or running errands

-clothes you can wear to an interview (the free clothes rarely are interview worthy)

-bus fare or gas for car (need one or the other to find work in most cities)

-cell phone bill (or to buy a cell phone)

-car repairs (a lot of people lose jobs because of crappy cars)

-medical co-pays

-a P.O. Box to safely get mail (mail often gets stolen when sent to homeless shelters, especially government phones, debit cards, and anything that looks valuable)

-a storage unit (a safe place to keep your stuff) I can't tell you how important it is to have a place that's YOURS. Homeless shelters or homeless camps operate under prison rules, and things get stolen continuously. -motel rooms (after all we ARE homeless)

-soap

-shampoo

-socks -toothbrush and toothpaste

-umbrella or raincoat

-gloves and stocking hats in winter

-aspirin and other pain killers (Ever had a really bad toothache? Imagine living on the streets while having that toothache)

-make-up and other feminine needs for women

-prescription co-pays

-a can opener (gives you access to slightly better foods)

-Band Aids -tweezers (splinters suck when homeless)

-money to make copies, print out resume's, buy pens, paper, things like that -finger and toenail clippers ( I saw a guy cutting his toenails with a knife the other day)

-tools for work (carpenters, plumbers, etc.)

-make-up and other women's needs In my case, taxi driving seems to be the only job I'm likely to get here in NC, so I need to pay for a drug test ($65 with bus fare), a background check ($25), and a map book ($16), and money for change and gas to for the first day ($30+). You get the idea...

A lot of hits on this blog lately

2011-03-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

There have been a lot of hits on this blog the last few days. Maybe it's because I put up some videos of Ted Williams, or maybe not. Anyone care to leave a comment? I'm one guy in a bad situation trying to get my life going again. I get pretty cranky and rant sometimes. If you disagree or have ideas to share, let me know, leave a comment. For a little blog like this, over 80 hits a day is a lot. This had about 95 pageviews yesterday and 119 today. Let me know what you're thinking.

Where do panhandlers spend your money?

2011-03-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

I saw a comedian on TV years ago, who said he was riding with a friend one day. They rolled up an off ramp, and the comedian's buddy pulled a $5 bill out to give it to a panhandler standing on the off ramp with a sign. The comedian yelled at his buddy, "What're you giving him money for? He's just going to spend it on booze or drugs!" The buddy looked at him and said, "Well... that what I was going to spend it on." The big reason people don't give money to panhandlers is because they think, like the joke above, panhandlers only spend money on alcohol or drugs. Is that true? Where do panhandlers REALLY spend your money? I hate to burst everyone's bubble, but the biggest place panhandlers spend money is on motel rooms. After all, most panhandlers are homeless. When living on the streets, we want a bed to ourselves, without idiots in the next bed or people pulling knives on people (that's happened the last three nights in a row at the shelter where I'm staying) a decent meal, and to watch some TV and take a nice long shower or bath. Go spend three or four days on the streets, you'll see what I mean. Yes, many panhandlers do spend some of the money on beer, a bottle or whiskey, or drugs. But most of the money goes either for lodging or food. Some use it for travel to a place where there's work. But usually it's in this order: motel room, food, beer, and personal items like razors, shampoo, soap, and all that.

Who gives to panhandlers

2011-03-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, I've become way too much of an expert on panhandling. I did it for a year straight in Southern California to survive. I did it sporadically a few years before that when I was out of work. I've done it a bit in North Carolina, because my family can't or won't loan me enough to get my life started again here. All in all, I've probably panhandled on 400 different occasions, virtually all of those during my year on the streets in 2007-2008. so I have a good idea of who gives to panhandlers. So what group gives the most to panhandlers? I can't name one. the closest I can come is to say the majority of people giving are average, working class people. Race doesn't seem to play a role, I've been given money by whites, blacks*, Latinos, and Asians. I've had completely poor people give me money, in total wrecks of cars. I've had Mexican and black ganstas in pimped out SUV's give me money. I've had soccer moms in non-pimped SUV's give me money. But most are just average, run of the mill, working types. Religion does play a minor roll. I'd much rather be panhandling on an off ramp by a Buddhist temple than a Christian church. Buddhists are more likely to give than born again Christians. Living here in North Carolina for a couple of years now, I've noticed that devout Christians somehow think homeless people deserve to be homeless. Nobody deserves to be homeless. Ever. there are a lot of churches here in Winston-Salem that serve meals to homeless and poor people, but they hesitate to give money to a person panhandling on an off ramp. The irony is that the homeless shelters and free meals are the the second biggest enablers of addicts. Most of the people who stay on the shelters and go to the free meals, are addicts. Many are not homeless, they just live in the hood. They stay at one shelter, then go to the next one, then sleep under a bridge or stay at someone's house for a while, until they can get back into a shelter. Or they get their disability (almost always undeserved) or military benefits check, they get a motel room, and go on a bender for a couple weeks, drinking, smoking crack, snorting blow, or popping pills. When the money runs out, they go to a shelter until the next check comes. at any given time here in Winston-Salem, only about 10% of the people in shelters are actually trying to get back on their feet. I would GLADLY give up my shelter bed and all the free meals for a small business loan or a bus ticket to California. But no one wants to help a homeless person actually do anything worthwhile. Everyone wants me to get a minimum wage job, which would only keep me in poverty. I'll do that, but I can't get one without a phone and decent clothes and a bus pass. As tight as the job market is here, I might not be able to get one then. So I'm trying to panhandle the money to get the things I need to start driving a taxi. It's not a great job, but they'll hire anyone who passes the drug and background check, and who's crazy enough to do the job. For me, that's the most reasonable plan. The programs for homelessness are designed to put people in apartments payed for with tax dollars and a few non-profit grants. Why? Because you have to get on medication, LOTS of medication, to get in these programs. I personally know one guy who recently got a $2200 a month assisted living apartment, he gets food stamps, and he takes over $1,000 worth of pills a month. He's a good guy with a ton of health problems. That's about $3500 a month of your tax dollars to keep one guy off the streets. Homeless people in these programs are cash cows for the pharmaceutical industry. YOUR tax dollars and mine go to house these people, and the big pharma companies reap the profits. Personally, I find that disgusting. OK, I'll step off my soapbox now. You get the idea. But most people don't, so these crazy programs continue, and most homeless people keep falling through the cracks. * Yes, I say "blacks" and not "African Americans" because it has one syllable, and because African American is a bad euphemism. An African American is someone who lived in Africa and then moved here. I've known several people who fit that category, six of them were white.

Ted Williams Kraft commercial

2011-03-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

In the last post you saw Ted "Golden Voice" Williams doing the actual voice-over, and it looked kinda corny. Here's the finished commercial with Ted's voice-over at the end. The crazy thing is, we see dozens of these commercials every day, and never notice that weird voice at the end.

Golden Voice Ted Williams Kraft Voice overs

2011-03-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

Here's a clip of the world's most famous panhandler, Ted "Golden Voice" Williams doing voice-over work for Kraft, a day or two after coming off the streets. He's still got the camo jacket on, I love it. Having worked in the video world myself, I've hung out in a few voice-over sessions, and this is what they're like. They find someone with the voice they want, and get them to say the same lines over and over, each time with a little different inflection. When seen like this clip, the voice-over person kind of looks like an idiot. But the producers or director want to hear it a certain way, and the V.O. person keeps trying it until they get one the director likes. I think this is the first actual work Ted got when they plucked him off the streets.

Why lie I need a kidney

2011-03-21T07:42:00.000-07:00

A random kidney transplant video from You Tube

When I was homeless out on Orange County, California a couple years ago, there was a guy named Shawn who I met at a bus stop. Here's Shawn's blog:

Why lie I need a kidney.

That bus stop, officially called the Newport Transportation Center, housed many homeless people on the benches each night. For that reason, we dubbed it the Homeless Hilton. The all night, hourly 57 bus ended runs there, so if you fell asleep on the 57, you wound up there. If you wanted to sleep, you sat up in one of the benches (no lying down), wrapped up in blankets or a sleeping bag, and dozed off. There was a crazy old coot named Bill who slept there when his Social security money ran out, about two weeks each month. Bill rented a weekly motel room for the other two weeks each month. Bill had bright red hair, and the first time I met him, he had a fresh heart surgery scar. Two weeks after a quadruple bypass, Bill was sleeping at the bus stop. That's life for the homeless in SoCal. Bill was also a teller of tall tales. He was full of shit most of the time, like when he claimed to be an Apache chief, despite having bright red hair. But Bill told entertaining tales, and I listened to them a lot, usually camped out in the seating section next to Bill's. Bill was also known for holding a lit cigarette in one hand, and his asthma inhaler in the other. Partly truth, partly fiction, he was a walking contradiction.

So one night this guy I called Old Navy (he was always wearing this Old Navy sweatshirt), Shawn, called Bill out on his lies. They had a big old argument, which was pretty amusing, I must say. I told Shawn that while Bill was ugly and a liar, he was at least an entertaining liar, which made him alright. Bill shot back, "Hey, I'm not a liar!" He didn't argue the ugly part. From then on, Shawn and I chatted a bit when we ran into each other. He was always exploring weird places to sleep, and asking about homeless survival tips from me. I was wondering if he was an undercover cop at one point, he asked so many questions. But it seems he wasn't.

No Shawn is an out of work guy in New England somewhere, and he has bad kidneys. He's looking for a good one. So if you have a pretty good kidney laying around, give him a call. He could use it. I dont' know the guy that well, so check his ID and stuff before you go cutting a kidney out of yourself. But he was a pretty cool guy when I knew him, and I told him I'd plug his blog. You have to check it out, for the title alone. If you have any kidney healing or locating advice, let him know.

Why lie I need a beer

2011-03-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

Here's a short film by some film guys, apparently they needed some venture capital and tried panhandling. I can't fault 'em for that, that's what I'm trying to do. Here's their blog, which has been sitting for a couple of years, it appears: Why lie I need a beer.

Seriously Is panhandling illegal

2011-03-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

Months ago, I wrote a post about the legality of panhandling. I wasn't sure where the law fell on the subject. But according to one very knowledgeable commenter on my blog, it is legal in poublic areas. Here's the link to that post. Forget the post itself, read the first comment. That post got a lot of page views over the last couple days. That may be why I had a police car with two officers pull up and just watch me panhandle for about ten minutes today. It was probably mainly police officers reading it.

At the moment, I'm panhandling here in Winston-Salem, "legally," with an actual permit. I've read the city's new panhandling law, and if they cite me, I know I can fight it all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary. I've heard the city attorney is also really nervous about the panhandling law. One of my friends who reads the paper every day said he read that. The attorney knows the law won't stand up to revue.

All that aside... if you do panhandle and plan to fight the law, you have to be pretty crazy. It will be a very long, very taxing battle. Trust me, most of you aren't up to that. Most of our government doesn't believe in the Constitution anymore. I fought to get $300 back from police who shook me down me 11 years ago. My driver's license was mysteriously suspended a week after I got the money back. I've had over 700 apparent officers or agents question me since then. I've been physically threatened. I've survived multiple attempts on my life in 2003 and 2004. I've dodged so many entrapment attempts that some guy, who alluded to being with the CIA, asked me if I was psychic. Seriously, I wish I was kidding. He followed me around for an hour trying to get me to admit being psychic. I told him I'm "a bit intuitive." But he already knew the truth. I worked for a taxi company (American Taxi, Santa Ana, CA) at the time of the incident, which was owned by an ex-CIA guy named Rick Shorling. According to a newspaper article I read later, Rick was known for selling non-existent helicopters in Nicaragua, or something like that. I didn't know that when I started driving for American, I just knew their cabs were brand knew and actually ran. When you work for people like that, a lot of others can wind up taking a look at you. I guess that's where the CIA connection came from. Who knows?

If any of you want some interesting reading, do a Freedom of Information Act request on me (Steven T. Emig). You won't get everything, since a lot of it seemed to involve private contractors (mercenaries) and religious operatives. Yes, churches have intelligence operatives these days. Well, religious organizations have civilians that do intelligence gathering work. By surviving this past decade, I got a taste of just how crazy our world has become. Oh yeah, I also had another one of these weird people insinuate that I'm a CIA "asset." An asset is someone they either use for specific knowledge (supposedly that's where I fit in), or it's someone they manipulate to make some event or another happen. I have no idea if that's true, but I've been told that, and it would explain an awful lot of weird things that have happened to me over the past decade. My life has been so weird that it wouldn't be believeable as a Tom Clancy novel or a B movie. But that's how I wound up panhandling...

It could be worse

2011-03-14T15:36:00.000-07:00

I've been bitching in this blog about having to get a panhandling permit, which outlawed panhandling in about 95% of the decent panhandling spots here. But I could be a dairy or beef farmer. A couple years ago there was a proposal to institute a carbon tax which included taxing dairy, beef, and pork farmers for the farts their animals create, which is a "greenhouse" gas. according to the documentary The Obama Deception, this is a New World Order plan to destroy family farming in the United States. Both family farming and panhandling are threats to the New World Order globalists, because both of these things help people, farmers and poor people, help themselves. The reason for the incredibly complex panhandling regulation here is to help the globalist agenda along.

Saint Patty's panhandling humor

2011-03-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

It's always a bad day when you arrive some place and find a police officer waiting for you. All the lameness of living here in Winston-Salem and not being able to make a living descended on me yesterday. I wound up downtown and someone said there was a little festival on Trade Street, the little art gallery area. It was Finnegan's Wake, the local Irish pub, having an early St. Patrick's day party in a big tent in the blocked off street. A couple of us asked if they needed help tearing everything down afterwards, but the party was going too late. You can't work nights while staying at a homeless shelter. You either get kicked out, or wind up on a mat on the floor again, with no place to store your stuff. Like I've said many times, homeless shelters are not there to help people get back in the workforce. Sad but true. If you're really motivated and have a little money, you can use a shelter to get a job and get going again, but it's entirely up to you.
So I sat down on a bench on trade Street and people watched for a bit, people in odd green were accents were wandering up to the party tent. I made a panhandling-type sign that said "Ask me about my leprechaun" on one side, and "Will Drink For Sex" on the other. I set it near the sidewalk to see if it would make anyone laugh. Panhandling always borders on performance art, and on comedy. At it's best, you can make a complete stranger laugh with a few handwritten words, and make a buck or two. That's pretty amazing, when you think about it. On many occasions, I've panhandled simply to entertain people. Yesterday I put out a sign and just watched people react to it, a social experiment, you might say.
I found a better location, and a dozen or so people laughed at the sign, but none picked it up. Finally a couple walked up and stopped to light their cigarettes right by the sign. The woman pointed at it and laughed. Her husband picked it up, and saw the "Will drink for sex" side, and immediately held it up to his chest. His wife snapped a photo of him. I'm always stoked when I can make someone laugh, and that helped a crappy day seem a bit better. So if you're planning to party on St. Patrick's Day this week, and you're looking for a funny idea more original than a kilt, try a St. Patrick's Day panhandling sign.

Busted already

2011-03-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

I went out with my new panhandling permit to an off ramp this morning. Like I said, I'm just trying to scrape up enough to start driving a taxi here, to get a bus back to California. Obviously, there's no way I'll ever make a decent living in North Carolina. Anyhow, I walked out to the spot between an off ramp and an on ramp. I was there maybe a minute an a half, when I saw a police car over my shoulder. He parked on a triangle shaped concrete island in the intersection. To be there that quick, either he had to be staking the place out nearby, or being directed by a dispatcher or someone who was watching me get off the bus nearby on the bus security cameras.
The officer waved me over, and I crossed over to that island, and told him I had a permit. He asked to see it, I gave him my panhandling permit and my ID, and he went into the car and ran me. After five minutes or so, he came back out, told me I was OK, but I couldn't panhandle that spot because it was considered a "median," and the new law says you can't panhandle on medians. The way the law is written, it's arguable whether that location is a median, that's the whole reason I went there. But you can only argue it if you go to court. The officer told me I had to leave, and I did. He sat in his car on the island for about five minutes, making sure I didn't come back. He was polite. I got his card. I didn't go back. I told the officer that according to the law, the two Winston-Salem Journal newspaper guys selling papers in sight were breaking the same law. I explained which parts they were breaking. The officer said, "No they're not, but if you think so you can take it up with city council." The officer was wrong, newspaper sellers are breaking the law. It's a minor thing, the Journal could remedy it easily. The officer thought otherwise, so they don't get hassled.
Yesterday, after getting my permit, before telling all the snitches I had it, I went out on a ramp and made a few dollars. I had enough to get lunch at McDonald's on the dollar menu, and bus fare to get back and a dollar for this morning. Walking back to the bus stop yesterday, I ran into one of the homeless guys I kinda know from around here. He had been selling newspapers for the Winston-Salem Journal nearby. He said I should go work for them, and that he made $250 on a bad week. In an earlier post I wrote about my horrible experience working for the Winston-Salem Journal selling newspapers last year. You work for six hours on a median, and spend another hour riding around in the van to be dropped off. I made $11 the first two days, and then lost $5 the last day when Mike the driver put me at the corner of 4th and Cherry, 30 feet away from a newspaper box. He told me not to come back to work, and then told me that if I found Jesus, "the people working against me would suddenly start working for me." I'd have to ask a lawyer to find out how many laws that incident broke. I just walked away.
So I'm broke. I don't have a phone. I have one pair of long pants. I don't have bus fare to get anywhere. Selling newspapers for the Journal is the only job I might be able to get right now. Most of the guys only make a few dollars a day, except for four or five favorites that get the good corners. Why bother wasting everybody's time with panhandling permits if it's illegal to panhandle anywhere? That's a couple thousand dollars of taxpayer's money wasted in time and effort by city employees this week, plus $100 an hour for time and equipment for each police officer tasked with checking panhandlers today and for coming days. That's a low estimate, by the way, when you figure in all the support people and equipment needed to keep a cop on the road. Is it really worth all that money to keep a few poor people from making $20? In the context of globalization (or New World Order for you conspiracy nuts), yes, it's worth it to someone.
I'll most likely die soon while walking back to California, and that's fine. I'll die knowing that the South is suffocating itself in stupid laws which are driving away the "creative class" people they're so desperately trying to attract. If you are an artist or creative person in Winston-Salem, RUN! Believe it or not, there are places in this world where there's an actual culture of creativity. find one of those places and set up shop. Besides, who wants to live in a city with a bio tech lab in the downtown. Ever hear of Plum Island? If I was forced to keep living east of the Mississippi, I'd go to Detroit. Detroit is my number one pick for the next break-through scene. There are already creative types setting up shop there, in addition to the music scene that created Motown and The White Stripes. Leave Winston-Salem to the scientists, there are better creative scenes elsewhere.

Got my permit

2011-03-11T06:56:00.000-08:00

This clip is an ABC 20/20 segment on panhandling from 2005 or 2006 narrated by John Stossel. About a month ago, I was contacted by John Stossel's producer, asking for info on panhandling because I write this blog. He said they were thinking about doing a segment on panhandling, inspired, no doubt, by the overnight fame of "Golden Voice" Ted Williams. I sent him two or three long emails with background info on panhandling, and answered his questions the best I could. It appears they decided not to do a segment on the subject.

On the home(less) front, I got a permit to panhandle here in Winston-Salem today. It took a couple days longer than expected, but I got the permit this morning. In the packet came a print out of the new panhandling law, which is a bit different than the printout a city worker gave me about three weeks ago. Will I get in more trouble with a permit? The way the law is written, any police officer can ticket any panhandler at any time if they really want to. As any skateboarder can tell you, you're much more likely to get a ticket in a public skatepark than skating on the streets. as a long time BMXer and skateboarder, I'm wondering if these panhandling permits will work the same way. Or will I actually be able to scrap up a little money to start working? We'll see.

No permit yet

2011-03-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

I walked about 3/4 mile in a light rain to the city office to get my panhandling permit today. The information hadn't come back yet. Since they info always comes back in 48 hours, this confused the polite woman at the counter. She actually went looking for her supervisor to see if my paperwork had come in, but not made it to her desk yet. But she couldn't find him.

It was raining pretty hard when I walked out. I got pretty much drenched walking back. That's par for the course in my life.

I applied for a panhandling permit

2011-03-09T08:53:00.000-08:00

On Monday, I went to the Winston-Salem police station in the morning to apply for a panhandling permit. The officer at the front desk said I needed to go to City Hall to apply. So I walked a half mile or so to Winston-Salem City Hall. The officer at the desk there told me to go to still another building across the street, the Bryce Stuart Building, I think it's called. So I went to that building, and the officer at that front desk directed me to the business license desk in a nearby room.

The woman at the license desk was really polite, despite my thrashed hoodie and well worn jeans. She handed me three sheets of paper to fill out, two for me asking basic information, and a third one for her to fill out once the background check came back. I needed two forms of ID to apply. She told me there was no fee for the "panhandling privilege permit" as they call it here.
The woman double checked the papers to make sure that I filled out everything necessary, and told me that I'd have an answer back in 48 hours.

This morning (Wednesday), I went back to see if I'd been approved or not. My information hadn't come back yet, so I don't know. The woman at the desk, the same one from before, showed me my paperwork, waiting for the background check, or whatever, to come back. There was paperwork for two or three other people, and finished envelopes for about four other people. So about 7 or 8 panhandlers are working on getting permits at the moment, a week after the law started being enforced.

The main reason, officially, for the permits is to do a background check on the people out there panhandling. I have no tickets at all here in North Carolina, and I think three different tickets in the last decade in California, including traffic tickets. I'm about as squeaky clean as you can get, considering I've been a taxi driver and homeless on and off for years.

So why am I, a reasonably intelligent guy, and a decent writer, bothering with a panhandling permit? Because I need to either get a job here in North Carolina, or head back to California where there's tons more work for creative people like myself. To get a job here, I need a phone, decent clothes, some food money, and probably a 30 day bus pass. The Triad area here is very closed to outsiders, as a society. And they don't like Californians in general. The only job I've had here is selling newspapers here in Winston-Salem last summer. On my third day, the van driver put me on a corner downtown, where he knew I couldn't sell any papers. Obviously, Mike, the driver, wanted to get rid of me. So I took a bus to a corner where I could sell papers, and sold enough to pay for my papers that day, then came back. Mike told me I was fired and I paid him for my papers for that day. I'd made about $11 in three days selling the Winston-Salem Journal, about 18 hours of work. Before I walked away, Mike said, "You know, if you take Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and saviour, all the people working against you will suddenly start working for you. (emphasis mine)" That's how the job market seems to work here. And they wonder why they can't attract the "creative class" I was talking about in the last post.

I figured I could work as a taxi driver, because nobody cares about taxi drivers. That would take $250 or so to get started, for a phone, drug test, background check, and money for taxi lease, gas, and change. My parents are on a fixed income, and can't loan me the money. My sister and brother-in-law in Greensboro have the money, but they don't think it's a good idea to loan it to me. Or to pay me back $300 of the $2400 I loaned my sister for college 20 years ago. I don't know they're reason, but hey, that's their perogative. So if I'm going to work again, I need to raise money somehow to either start interviewing, or start driving a taxi. Panhandling could serve that purpose, if I get a permit.

Why you should give me a couple dollars

2011-03-08T08:13:00.000-08:00

This clip is above is Richard Florida speaking in San Diego, California, on his book, The Rise of the Creative Class. Both Winston-Salem and Greensboro openly claim to be working to attract "creative class" people to this area of North Carolina. They are working to attract these people because they were inspired by the book and ideas Professor Florida expresses above. This is a good idea. While some find his work controversial because of some of his statistical findings, his work is sound and his ideas could work to bring back regions that have lost lots of manufacturing jobs, like the Triad area here in North Carolina.

I know his ideas are viable because I lived in a "creative class" scene for over 20 years, Huntington Beach, California. In Florida's work, Orange County, California got lost in the shuffle, being the southern suburb county of Los Angeles. While the Huntington Beach area of Orange County slipped under Florida's radar, I was there while it ran through the emtire creative scene process that he speaks of. Huntington Beach was the "ghetto beach," the working class surf town living in the shadow super-rich Newport Beach when I moved there in 1987. The three block downtown area was run down and only locals frequented the few bars and surf shops there. But there was a surf scene, HB is "Surf City" from the 60's Jan & Dean song. There was a hardcore skateboard scene there in the 1980's, and a few old school pool skaters. There was a hardcore BMX freestyle scene there which spawned the BMX racer/jumper scene of Sheep Hills in the 1990's. There were also snowboarders, motocrossers, strippers and a few porn stars living there. Musically, Huntington Beach was a threshold of the 1980's hardcore punk rock scene. In other words, there were a bunch of weird, lazy, crazy, dirbag losers hanging out downtown and a bunch of suburban people who liked the beach. There was also a heavy entrepreneurial spirit Southern California is known for. There was a group working to develop the town, but that stalled seriously in the early 1990's recession. By all accounts, Huntington Beach should have withered.
Instead, that 1990 recession led many surfers, skateboarders, BMXers, snowboarders, motocrossers, snowboarders, strippers, and musicians to start their own businesses. The kids doing the sports took over the sports. Quicksilver surf wear is now headquartered in Huntington Beach, and it's a billion dollar plus company. My friend Chris Moeller took his garage BMX company and turned it into a multi-million dollar company. Two skateboard friends of mine, Pierre Andre Senizergues and Don Brown, now run Sole Technology, a shoe company (Etnies, E's Emerica) with $200 million in gross sales. Pro snowboarder Damian Sanders, a one time neighbor of mine, started running dance clubs, some of his clubs now draw 10,000 people in a weekend. Another friend and neighbor, Brian Jordan, along with some friends, started the sport of freestyle motocross, one of the fastest growing sports of all time. Google "Crusty Demons of Dirt," that's what Brian and his friends created.
Now as fine, upstanding people of North Carolina, you may think these friends of mine, and the dozens of others, are people you don't want moving here. But my weirdo friends and former neighbors, and thousands of creative people like them, are the driving force in the U.S. economy now. These creative people like to move to areas where there are other creative people. They move to cities that are open to all kinds of people.

This is Richard Florida's concept. Regions with creative scenes draw other creative people. Those scenes often draw entrepreneurs. Those entrepreneurs start highly creative companies (think Microsoft, Apple, Dell, Pixar, Micron Technologies, etc, etc.). Those highly creative companies create products, many times information products with huge profits, and they drive the economy today. Florida's The Rise of the Creative Class came out in 2002. Much to his surprise, many civic leaders read his book and latched on to his ideas. Dozens of cities, like Greensboro and Winston-Salem, suddenly wanted an art scene and music scene and farmer's market so they can start attracting the creative class. These civic leaders aren't suddenly into street art or roots music, they want to create a scene that will attract incredibly profitable companies. The manufacturing jobs are mostly gone, these cities have lots of poor people and lots of unemployed people. Winston-Salem and Greensboro and dozens of other cities need to do something to get their economies going again.

Meanwhile, my family wound up here, and when I became homeless in California when the taxi industry collapsed, I came here to visit. I didn't want to stay. I didn't want to find work here. After living in a highly creative, highly entrepreneurial area for 23 years, I just wanted to leave the Triad. I stayed with my parents in Kernersville, which is about as much fun as a root canal. Everything I'm into... alternative sports, punk rock/alternative music, entreprenurial scenes... it doesn't even exist here. Coming to the Triad felt like a trip back in time. The culture here is about 40 years behind the scene I left in California. Business here is based on cronyism and conformity. Hey, that will work for a while, but it doesn't work in the long term anymore. There's a cool little art scene here in Winston-Salem, but this is a tiny scene in the midst of a creativity-hating culture. This culture hates outsiders. Hey, that's fine. I'm stuck here for the short term. But here's the funny part. I'm one of the "creative core" people, the hardcore creative class that civic leaders here are trying attract. And I want to leave. I want to go home to California. But my family is here, and unfortunately I'm going to be stuck here for a while. That means I have to start some kind of business. No one will hire me. I'm a Californian and a former taxi driver. Those two things pretty much exclude me from any job here.

So I'm panhandling to raise money to start working as a taxi driver. If I can do that, I can work on my other talents, of which I have many. I've seen a creative class city rise to prominence, I know how you could do it here. And right now, I'm panhandling because I can't find any job to get started. How many other creative people have you run out?

The panhandling newspaper article here

2011-03-05T13:03:00.000-08:00

Here's the link to the Winston-Salem Journal article about panhandling the other day.

There's one glaring mistake in this article. The new panhandling law DOES apply to newspaper salespeople working on medians, AND religious and other non-profit organizations who raise money panhandling style. Right now, the Winston-Salem Journal's outside salespeople AND all non-profit groups raising money on medians are in violation of the new panhandling law. All of them. I've got a copy of the law, all those groups are breaking the law. Somehow the Journal reporter missed that fact. But, of course, only the panhandlers are getting warnings. Read the law, it tells what those groups need, like $2 million in liability insurance, for one.

Last December, the Winston-Salem city council changed the panhandling law. According to the law itself, which I have a copy of and have read, it went into effect immediately. But for practical reasons, they didn't enforce it right away. As of this week, they're just giving warnings to panhandlers, telling them to go get a permit. I am a current panhandler here, at least until I can scrape up enough money to start working as a taxi driver, or find some other job. When I heard that there had been a new law passed, I went to three different city offices trying to figure out what the deal was. No one had the whole story, but one city worker printed me out the new law. The law is horribly written, has holes you could fly a 747 through, and could cost the city of Winston-Salem tens of thousands in legal fees if anyone really tries to fight it.

As expected, the people (yes, we're actually people) who get panhandling permits can actually get in more trouble than someone panhandling without a permit. That comes down to how intense individual police officers get. If they're trying to just weed out people with criminal records (most panhandlers) I can understand that. But if the city is going to use this new law to "legalize" panhandling, by making permits available, and then bust every single panhandler on tiny technicalities, it will end up costing the city a lot of money. You see, stepping into the road is illegal according to the new panhandling law here. Accepting any tangible item (like money) is illegal. Like it or not, begging (which includes panhandling) is a constitutionally protected activity. So to outlaw it across the country, cities are outlawing every activity that surrounds the act of begging or panhanlding.

Yes, it's a shame that people actually panhandle. It's even more of a shame that our society is so corrupt that people can actually get into the position where panhandling is the best option to simply survive. Until society helps those down and out, there will be poor, and there will be panhandlers. If Winston-Salem, or any other city tries to get rid of all panhandlers with annoyance laws, they're simply making the police spend thousands of dollars to punish poor people. It's not unusual for police officers to spend $1,000 in time, officer's pay, and equipment to keep a poor person form making $20. that is no exaggeration. I've seen it happen over and over. Don't your police officers have better things to do? Hey, Hitler "solved" the homeless and panhandling problem in Germany. The first people in the concentration camps were the homeless. Is that the plan here in the U.S.? I'm beginning to wonder.

Yes, I know writing this post could keep me from getting a permit. If it does, I'll blog about it, naturally.

Panhandling permits now required here

2011-03-04T06:11:00.000-08:00

Here's the local news story. Panhandling permits are now required here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Since I have no phone, and no decent clothes to try to get a job, panhandling's about the only way I can make money to get the basic things I need at the moment. I think the whole idea of a permit is pretty ridiculous, but we'll see how it goes. I already got a copy of the new law, which regulates panhandlers, newspaper sales people who work corners and traffic islands here, and non-profit groups who raise money panhandling style. The laws are really confusing, far more than is needed to confuse your average panhandler. There are more things you can get in trouble for with a permit than without one. I'm going to sign up for one, and I'll document what happens here in this blog.

The Golden Voice Milkshake

2011-02-25T13:39:00.000-08:00

C'mon, you knew it was coming... Golden Voice (TM) merchandising. In the clip above, Ted Williams, the world's most famous panhandler, makes a custom milkshake at Millions of Shakes in West Hollywood. Apparently the shake will be sold as the Golden Voice Milkshake, and proceeds (he says) will go to the Ted Williams Second Chance Foundation... which I haven't found on the web. But there are so many web blurbs of Ted, and so many Second Chance foundations, that it might be there somewhere.

It's been just under two months since the You Tune video of Ted went viral on You Tube. In less than two months there's been: local radio interviews, literal overnight fame, an offer to do voice work for the Cleveland Cavaliers, local radio voice work, the Early Show, the Today Show, two back to back days on the Dr.Phil show (that would fuck anyone up), Dr. Phil's rehab, leaft Dr.Phil's rehab, public fight with his daughter (sounds jealous to me), LAPD custody after argument with his daughter, met Kobe Bryant, his own rehab, voice work for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, more random voice work, sold his panhanding signs on Ebay (one went for $202), the Golden Voice Milkshake, publicly asks President Obama for an invite, says he's starting a foundation to help other talented homeless people (damn good idea, how do I get on the list?).
That's a pretty big couple of months for ANYBODY. Oh yeah, had some dental work, too. That's a priority for any homeless person who comes into some money.

We'll all have to wait and see what happens, but I'm still rootin' for the guy.

Ted's buddy Victor sells his old panhandling signs on Ebay.

A panhandling sign of Ted's on Ebay $202

Golden voice Ted Williams' former tent

2011-02-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

The man who put homelessness on the map... Wait, bums having being doing that forever. "Golden voice" Ted Williams shows us his old tent. His buddy is still sleeping in it. C'mon Ted, hook a brother up! Anyhow, you get a taste of life as a homeless panhandler. Wanna know what's funny, the most expensive real estate I ever lived on was while I was homeless. Newport Beach, California baby. It had a view of the Back Bay and everything.

Golden Voice Ted Williams meets Kobe Bryant

2011-02-25T13:24:00.000-08:00

Man, I was panhandling in L.A., I never got to meet Kobe! It's all about the voice and the You Tube hits.

Why don't you get a job you bum

2011-02-20T11:39:00.000-08:00

I've always thought this song, What It's Like by Everlast, is the best song that talks about homelessness, and a couple other bad situations in life.

So why don't homeless people like myself just get jobs? Well, in my case, I'm just lazy. Heh, heh, heh. But I wasn't always. I spent six years homeless while working full time, 4 1/2 of those years I was working 80 to 110 hours a week as a taxi driver. There are several reasons why homeless people don't "just get jobs." The biggest reason is that a lot of people can make more money from unemployment, welfare, or on disability than they can working. That's what most of the addicts and lazy people do. Then there's a group of people, like single moms, that have to take care of their kids while they look for and find a job. for the people who actually want to work who are totally homeless, the main problem is what I call The Level.

The Level

To realistically search for a job, and to actually keep a job once you have one, you have to be at a certain level in society. At the very least, you need these things:
1. A place to sleep at least four or five hours a night without police, other people, or animals harassing you.
2. Decent clothes for the interview(s) and to actually work.
3. Reliable transportation to get from your living place to the job and back.
4. A place to shower or at least wash up well every day.
5. An alarm clock of some sort, whether it's a watch, phone, or travel clock.

You can live in the bushes and get a job. I've done it. In fact, I did it for nine months in 2003. It was the worst experience of my life, at least until I got to North Carolina. It took me nine months, working 30 to 35 hours a week at minimum wage, to save up about $200 to go back to working as a taxi driver, which I thought would earn me enough money to eventually get an apartment again. Because of big changes in the taxi industry, I was wrong, but it was still better than working in a restaurant and living in the bushes.

My personal case aside, it's possible, but really fuckin' hard to get a job while living totally on the streets. It takes about the same faith and endurance as it does to start a small business. Most homeless people just get burned out working that hard to find a crappy job.

Yesterday a fellow homeless guy told me that he read an newspaper article recently that said many employers are intentionally not hiring people who've been out of work more than a few months. Employer predjudice is another reason it's hard to get a job. And all of those reasons don't tak into account the current recession, 10% unemployment nationwide, and the aftermath of the banking turmoil.

Another reason is that the mentality that keeps you alive on the streets is nearly the opposite of the mentality that it takes to impress an employer. Generally, a person needs to achieve some kind of stability in their life for a while much like a scuba diver decompressing after diving so they don't get "the bends." Then they can focus on a job hunt.

Most people get stressed out worrying about paying the cable bill or phone bill because they overspent on partying or something. A homeless person who's on the streets has to worry about violent cops, other homeless people, thugs, stray dogs, mountain lions, and the weather before they go to bed at night. They live at a level of constant stress most of you cannot imagine.

Reporting or religious propaganda?

2011-02-17T14:06:00.000-08:00

Let me give it to you straight, non-profit homeless organizations, for the most part, help the homeless... STAY HOMELESS.
Sorry, but that's the truth. If we all had places to live, then all their social workers would be out of work and on the streets, and believe me, you don't want that. Most of them are more pathetic than us homeless people. Any money you give to panhandlers is money you could be donating to their organizations. And that drives them nuts!

As someone who's been homeless over several years, and been a panhandler, as well as a video producer and editor, I know a PR piece when I see one. Tens of millions of your tax dollars go for grants to "faith based" organizations every year. Now the term "faith based" is a misnomer, every ministry I've seen is Christian, and every organization I've heard about getting government grants to help the homeless is a born again Christian group. Try to find a Buddhist, Taoist, or American Indian homeless shelter getting "faith based" funds. I've never seen or heard of one. So first of all, when you see or hear the words "faith based," it means that the federal government is financing born again Christian goals with your tax money. A lot of people, including me, don't agree with that. This country was founded on the concept of a separation of church and state. Faith based government funding erodes that.

I'm not saying these ministries shouldn't exist. A lot of them do good work, and they have a lot of good people working for them. They just shouldn't receive any government money. If they can raise enough money from donations to fund their ministries, great. But a lot of them probably couldn't.

The video above is a P.R. (public relations) video, what was once called propaganda. It shows some fairly intelligent panhanders at first, and then goes into showing the lame, really annoying ones. Then, after seeing those damn annoying panhandlers, it shows the sweet woman at the ministry with the solution to every one's problems. Just for the record, homeless shelters do a lot more to enable drinking and drug addiction that giving to panhandlers does. Sorry to say it, but it's the truth. I'm living in a shelter right now, and I don't drink at all or do drugs, either legal or illegal. But most of my "roommates" drink or take drugs everyday. Why not? As long as they're sober enough to stumble in the door at night, they have a safe place to sleep. In fact, they can go get wasted, stay out for a night or two, have themselves a bender, and then come back and sleep at the shelter. I see it every day.

There are people, a lot of people, who use panhandling to scrape by through a tough time, and then stop panhandling when they find work again. Honestly, I think most panhandlers do that. But there's a smaller number of panhandlers who go out and panhandle when they don't have to anymore. But those are the ones that stick in your mind. Those are the ones that you see all the time and that bug you. Many of those are the "aggressive" panhandlers. It would be better if no one ever had to beg for money. But that's not the world we live in. Would you rather give a bum a dollar or let him (or her) sleep on your couch until they're back on their feet? We all know the answer to that.

February 20, 2011, 1:30 pm- It's been a couple of days since I wrote this post, and the number of pageviews this blog gets every day have dropped to about 1/3 of what they were. This blog has also dropped to the third spot on the Google results list, after coming up first for months. I had a feeling that some of the religious people here in Winston-Salem (and perhaps elsewhere) were purposely checking out my blog every day intentionally, presumably to make me think more people were actually reading it. Or perhaps I was wrong, and I just pissed off 50 people a day who were reading this. Hey, obviously I don't care if anyone reads this. If I did, I'd write a real book. I write what I think needs to be written, and after all my crazy experiences of the last decade, my views on homelessness vary quite a bit from most social workers, religious homeless ministry workers, and people who have never experienced homelessness. Isn't that the whole point of blogs? They let everyday people, both intelligent and stupid, give their viewpoints on their subject choice. I will continue to give my viewpoint the subjects of homelessness and panhandling. I do this rather tongue-in-cheek, and try to have a sense of humor about it all. Believe it or not, there's quite a bit I don't write about.

For example, I don't write about the hundreds of apparent undercover cops and religious operatives that have tried to "save" me, change my mind about certain subjects ( like 9/11 questions, Alan Greenspan's agenda, or chem trails), or the intelligence agency-style psyops these people engage in. I don't write about the people who have told me that "when you take Jesus Christ as your personal lord and saviour, all the people working against you will suddenly start working towards you." That's an exact quote I've heard more than once, by the way. This blog is not about the police and religious terrorism I've endured, or any of that crap. This blog is about the act of panhandling, the problem of homelessness that leads people to panhandle, and the society in which these things happen. So I'm going to keep writing this blog until I've said all that I think needs to be said, or until I'm incarcerated or committed to an institution because of mentioning things that have actually happened to me, like I have above. By the way, the best I can figure it out, the reason I'm not institutionalized or incarcerated under false pretenses is because of my reasonably high I.Q., and my personal interests, I come up with a lot of ideas, apparently ideas that are quite profitable to someone. It would take volumes to explain the thousands of individual events that have occurred over the years to lead me to such a weird conclusion.

Most of my story as a homeless man will go untold. The things I've mentioned above, and the misguided programs that led to them, will probably come to light in a decade or two, when the effects of them no longer matter. A lot of crazy programs were initiated, many of which, I imagine, didn't achieve the results expected, after 9/11. I think I was probably flagged as a possible threat because I have a high I.Q., and I was drastically underemployed when the 9/11 tragedies occurred, and I talked about subjects that were considered bad taste at that time. I was a weird, highly intelligent, underemployed loner. At a time of great fear, when most people became much more afraid of odd people, I was odd. And I paid a price for being weird that none of you can possibly imagine. But that's not the subject of this blog, though I do rant like this from time to time. Now back to our regularly scheduled panhandling tips...

Need $50 for bikini wax

2011-02-17T13:11:00.000-08:00

Way back in this blog are some funny panhandling signs I took photos of months ago. The photo of me with a sign that says "Need $50 for bikini wax" is now near the top of Bing image results if you search "funny panhandling signs." My "Granny needs a tattoo removed" is in the top spot at the moment. I don't know if anyone actually reads these posts, but dozens of people each day check out that "bikini wax" photo. Yes, that's me. I shot all the other photos first, behind a shopping center, and then I figured out how to use the timer on the camera. I've only used one of those signs in actual panhandling, these were just some funny ideas I had for panhandling signs.

This blog continues to amaze me. I am broke and out of work at the moment... oh... and homeless. I'm living in a shelter right now. I'm trying to scrape up money to start working again as a taxi driver, which is probably the only job I can get here in North Carolina. It's a bad place to be a highly intelligent, creative person. When I finally get back to California, I'll be able to find decent paying work, and hopefully get a business going. Anyhow, thanks to the "golden voice" of former panhandler Ted Williams, panhandling has come into the mainstream media spotlight lately. I've had a major TV news producer ask me for panhandling background info after reading this blog, which I sent him. This blog is now getting 2,400 to 2,600 hits a month, which is pretty good for a Blogger blog with no advertising. My funny panhandling sign photos show up at the top of both Google and Bing images. There are now dozens of funny panhandling signs that come up on web searches. When I started this blog, there were only a handful. I haven't figured out how to capitalize on this, so I'm still broke and living in a shelter. If I can start driving a taxi here, I should be able to get a room and a computer before too long, which will allow me to actually do something with my writing, photo, and video talents. We'll see. But for now, I'm just another bum... who happens to write the world's premiere panhandling blog.

U.S. foreclosures could house ALL the homeless

2011-02-09T07:06:00.000-08:00

Thought for the day:

There are more spare bedrooms in the United States than there are homeless people.

According to this Huffington Post article from last October, banks seized over 800,000 houses in foreclosure in the first nine months of last year. They were on pace to seize 1.2 million by the end of the year. There are expected to be another one million homes seized in 2011 through foreclosure. Another article reported that there are about 5.5 million delinquent home loans in the U.S. There are many more millions who are upside down in their mortgages right now, which means they owe more money on their mortgages than their homes are worth.

At the same time, there is an estimated 3.5 million homeless people in the U.S., with 1.35 million being children. If all those children stayed in the same room with their parents temporarily, then about 2 million rooms could house all of this country's homeless. I imagine all those foreclosure properties average 2 bedrooms per house. So the 2.2 million foreclosures seized in 2010 and 2011 alone could house this country's homeless population. Now not all those houses are empty at the same time. But if you matched up homeless people with some income, like government checks or part time jobs, to people in foreclosure, it would more than make up the difference.

What does all this mean?

Theoretically, we could house all the homeless in the United States in a single day... just with foreclosures.

Now, when you add in all the McMansions that have been foreclosed on, there may be enough rooms for every homeless single person. That doesn't count all the people who have spare bedrooms in their homes. That doesn't houses sitting vacant on closed down military bases and all the empty buildings in our cities. There's a completely empty six story building five blocks from where I'm sitting right now. Refurbished, that single building could probably house Winston-Salem's homeless population.

The point is: there are enough houses and other places to house the homeless population. There have always been enough places to house the homeless. People, like me, are homeless in part because so many resources in this country are poorly used. Why can't we as a society put empty buildings and foreclosed houses to better use? Red tape and lack of awareness is part of the problem. The faith-based organization, medical, and pharmaceutical revenues made from the homeless population is another part of it. But the empty rooms are out there.

Now you may be thinking, "That's ludicrous! Are you really saying we should put alcoholic people in empty, really nice, foreclosure houses?" Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Who do you think just lost all those houses? As a former taxi driver in Newport Beach, California, I can say with authority that being an alcoholic is practically a prerequisite to living in a wealthy neighborhood.

What happens if those hundreds of thousands of foreclosed homes sit empty? Somebody breaks into them, and many turn into crackhouses if they sit empty long enough. There's an area here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina we call Crackhead Park. They city and developers finished building a new minor league baseball stadium last year. The $14 million stadium wound up costing about $29 million. Right across the street, developers bought several houses. I heard that they were supposed to build a public park as part of the stadium contract. But they didn't demolish the houses after buying them. This group of about ten houses has been sitting empty for over a year. Every single house has broken dors and windows now, and there's been a fire in one house. There's graffiti on one garage that says "Dis way fo crak" with an arrow pointing inside. It literally looks like the city intentionally made a park for crackheads, thus our knickname for the area. When houses sit empty for months in a city with ten percent unemployment, they get destroyed.

Now, if we allowed homeless people to stay in those houses until they're sold, in exchange for taking basic care of the houses, the damage to these empty houses would be much less. I'm not saying this is something we should do, I'm saying here's a way to substantially help out two big social problems. It's possible. We could do it. Hell, it might actually work.

The Homeless Utility Vehicle

2011-02-08T10:31:00.000-08:00

The Homeless Utility Vehicle by Stephen Mills. I saw an article about this guy in Hot Rod magazine today. I think this thing was his college master's thesis project. I don't know if it would work in the real world. And I wouldn't want to puch this thing up a hill in San Francisco, but it's actually a pretty good idea. I'm saying that mostly because I came up with a similar idea for cheap homeless housing years ago.

Panhandling research available cheap

2011-02-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

Well, the whole Ted Williams "Golden Voice" panhandling story keeps surprising me. First that video of him became a You Tube hit. Then a radio station hired him for the day, and he wound up getting all kinds of job offers. Being the goofball I am, I happened to have the world's number one panhandling blog when that happened. So this blog got a lot of pageviews, 100 to 200 a day for the last month, as both journalists and average people Googled panhandling. Keep in mind, I think of this blog as half informative, and half comedy.

Yesterday I checked my email, and found one among the spam that I missed a couple days ago. I got an email from the producer of a national news program asking for background info on panhandling, because they're thinking about doing a segment on the subject. So I sent him two emails worth of thoughs and insights about panhandling. We'll see what happens. This could be a good thing, or I could end up a national scapegoat for panhandlers, perhaps. I'll let you know if anything comes of it.

What is panhandling?

2011-02-06T12:06:00.000-08:00

What is panhandling?

Panhandling is a form of begging. It is an emergency option available when you are in desperate need of money. Or if you're just really lazy. To the best of my knowledge, the term "panhandling" came from they way people stick their hands out when begging, like the handle of a frying pan. In today's world, panhandling is done one of three ways: walking around and asking people for money one on one, sitting or standing on a high traffic sidewalk with a sign asking for help, or standing on a traffic median or freeway off ramp with a sign asking for help. There are two higher forms of panhandling: operating a non-profit organization, or becoming a politician. They are both constantly begging for money, too. Since these two comprise "respectable" begging, they aren't lumped in with individual panhandlers. But it's all begging, just the same.

Why do people panhandle?

People panhandle because it works. It's as simple as that. If you look pathetic and stand on an off ramp, a certain number of people will give you a dollar or some change. Sometimes they'll give more. In my experience, on off ramps in California, 3% to 5% of people will give you something. In North Carolina, where I am now, it's about 1/2 of one percent. That's right, people are way more charitable in California. As high as real estate and rent prices are in California, people know they could be out there panhandling in a few weeks if things don't go well. Plus, in North Carolina, most people are born again Christians, and they're just not as charitable to individuals as other faiths. Here in NC, people figure you're homeless because you pissed off God, and when you learn your lesson, you'll win the lottery or get a good job. I'm only half kidding, people really are that judgemental here. The funny thing is people in the Bible Belt have a great respect for soldiers serving our country... until those soldiers are homeless. A large percentage of those panhandling are military veterans. Isn't it ironic, don'tcha think?

Tom Brown Jr. on survival part 3

2011-02-03T08:33:00.000-08:00

Some of my best experiences while homeless have been the interactions I've had with animals. I wrote about the Eastern coyote I saw the other day, I've also seen foxes, and a huge opossum here in North Carolina while sleeping out. In California I saw two bobcats, a mountain lion three times, a snake that appeared to be an escaped pet python, skunks, opossums, raccoons, and dozens of different bird species. All those experiences, and the fact that I survived them is due entirely to what I've learned from Tom Brown, Jr. One of these days I'll get working again, and save up enough to actually take his classes. You can learn more about his books, CD's, and classes on his website, Tracker School.

Tom Brown Jr on survival part 2

2011-02-03T08:30:00.000-08:00

Anyone camping out in the woods because they can't afford an apartment can learn a lot from Tom.

Tom Brown Jr on survival part 1

2011-02-03T08:17:00.000-08:00

For millions of years, virtually all of the time that two-legged humanoids have walked this earth, they lived in tune with their environment. Then came civilization, and with civilization came homelessness. And, of course, it is homelessness that leads people to panhandle. If you live in society, you need to earn money to buy the things you need. But when you are down and out or homeless, those old skills can still come in handy.

Tom Brown, Jr. was taught how to survive, and thrive, in the wilderness by an old Lipan Apache named Stalking Wolf. He now teaches those skills to other people through classes and a series of books. In these three posts, I'll embed this interview with Tom, which will give you an idea of what he's about. If you are homeless, go to a major book store and find his book, Tom Brown's Guide to Wilderness Survival. There will definitely be some ideas in there that will benefit you while living on the streets. I've been a fan of Tom's since I first read The Tracker in 1978. I'm still alive today largely because of what I learned from his books. And I'm not a very good student, I never learned many of the basic skills he teaches. But what I learned about mental attitude and philosophy from his works helped me cope with some really bad times.

Brad Prowley at the Apollo encore post

2011-01-30T11:49:00.000-08:00

The best thing about this whole Ted Williams story is that I went looking for talented homeless people on You Tube and found Brad Prowly. Try to find this much soul in another homeless white guy. He wanders around and sings karaoke on the streets with that big ghetto blaster. Just had to put this clip in one more time.

I saw a huge coyote today

2011-01-28T13:14:00.000-08:00

These guys in the clip shoot and kill two eastern coyotes in this clip, so if that kind of thing bothers you, don't watch it.

I'm currently staying a a homeless shleter in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. I'm staying in the best shelter here... and it sucks. Is it better than living on the streets? That depends on what you're trying to do. If I'm trying to act crazy and get on disability and get a free apartment from the government, then staying at the shelter is a good thing. They have programs to give you free drugs (legal ones), and free (to you) apartments in some cases. If you have some kind of income, and you're looking for a job, then staying in a shelter will help you save money until you can get your own place. Or, if you're an alcoholic or crackhead, and you just need a place to sleep a few days after a binge, a shelter is good for that, too. In the time I spent in a shelter in the last year, I've learned that the federal government is the number one enabler of addicts in this country. Homeless addicts get their disability/unemployment/SSI/military pension checks, then go get high or drunk until the money runs out, then go to a shelter to recover until the next check comes in. In fact, a large percentage of the people in the shelter at any given time are addicts taking a vacation from full time drinking or using. If you just got out of jail, and need a place to start over, shelters work for that, too.

But I don't fall into any of those categories. The special programs don't apply to me, unless I want to act crazy and go for disability. I heard one guy say he lied and told his psychologist that the moon talked to him and cried tears of blood. I laughed at him and said, "That's crazy, everyone knows the moon cries normal tears." He laughed too and said, "Yeah, they'll buy any story almost."

My time in the shelter is almost up. I've lost 40 pounds in four months, which was my main goal. I've lost about 115 pounds since my heaviest weight as a taxi driver. I just stopped driving the cab and started walking. Living at the shelter, I walk 3 to 4 miles every day. And I got sick twice, food poisoning and flu/pneumonia. That helped, too. If you're fat, walking will take the weight off if you do enough of it.

Anyhow, after four months at the shelter, I still don't have any money. I still don't have a job. I still don't have decent clothes to even go to an interview. I don't have a car to get to the little bit of TV and movie production/roadie type work that I could do here. I don't have the money needed to start as a taxi driver. Homeless shelters don't really help people get back into normal society. They don't have employers showing up in the morning to offer work, either day work, short term, full time. If you already have something going, and some income, the shelter will help you save money for a couple of months until you can afford a place. But the programs they have aren't geared to get down and out working people back to work. Especially creative type people like myself.

To find work here, I need to make contacts in the art scene, there's a decent art scene here in Winston-Salem. But all the gallery events, where I'm most likely to make some contacts, are at night, when I have to be in the shelter. I've made a few contacts, but nothing that turned into work yet. So I was thinking that I could go camp out in the woods for a while, which would give me a lot more freedom. I'd have to go back to panhandling, but you can get a permit to do that legally here now. So today, I wandered out into a good sized chunk of woods, which also helps me to clear my head and get away from the shelter drama. I'm a big fan of Tom Brown, Jr., who teaches and writes books about survival in the wilderness, Apache-style. Even in the 20 to 40 degree temperatures we have now, I could build a shelter to sleep warmly enough, using just materials found in the woods.

But they have the occasional black bear here. And someone told me they have a lot of coyotes here, too. The eastern coyotes are much bigger than the ones I saw many times in California. So I was sitting by a tree in the woods, debating whether I should go to another shelter, or camp out for a while. Something caught my attention in my peripheral vision, and I snapped my head to the right. Standing there, broadside to me, about 40 feet away, was one of the Eastern coyotes I was worried about. He (she?) stared at me a second, and about the time I clapped my hands to scare it, it took off running. It was huge for a coyote, about the size of the big one in the video above. I grabbed a big stick, just in case, and wandered around a bit more, paying closer attention than before. Then I decided to head to another shelter when my time is up.

I wrote this a couple of days ago, but didn't finish. I wound up going to the another homeless shelter. Far from the ideal situation, but it's a roff over my head until I write bestselling book to sell you guys.

Is panhandling for you?

2011-01-25T06:03:00.000-08:00

Do you like spending time outdoors?

Do you like dressing casually?

Do you like meeting new people?

Do you like money?

Do you hate working?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then maybe panhandling is for you. If you're out of work, low on money, or just plain lazy, panhandling is a way to make money. Panhandling is an entry level activity, you don't need any special skills or education to get started. Panhandling is open to anyone, regardless of race, religion, sex, housing situation, gender preference, or I.Q.. For those of you with business experience, panhandling offers one of the greatest returns on investment of any money making activity. It's not unusual to spend $2 on a marker and some cardboard, and make $20 in the same day. That's a 1000% ROI in a single day. You can't get that kind of ROI (return on investment) from real estate, precious metals, day trading or even dealing drugs. Well, maybe you could make money that quick selling crack, but I don't recommend trying.

Panhandling is a form of begging. Begging goes back to the very start of civilization, about 10,000 years ago. At that point, some lazy guy said, "Fuck it, I don't feel like working anymore. Hey, can you give me a jug of wine?" Maybe it made people laugh, because this concept of begging was new. Or maybe the guy was just annoying, and someone gave him some wine to shut him up. We will never know. But it is generally accepted, and even written in the Encyclopedia of Homelessness (yes, there is one) that panhandling, and begging in general, are a product of civilization.

You see, humans like us have been on this Earth for at least 100,000, and more likely 200,000 years. Homo erectus, another quite intelligent humanoid, goes back nearly a million years, and they were building boats and making island to island journeys more than 800,000 years ago. For most of the last million years that intelligent, two-legged creatures have walked the earth, they also lived in tune with the natural environment. Then, 10,000 years ago, someone came up with the idea of civilization. Civilization, in it's most primal description, is people living without respect to natural laws and the environment. Instead of living by hunting and gathering, and migrating with the food sources, people started to build permanent villages, and they started to farm. Then they figured out ways to save food through the winters and famines. Then they built canals to get water to the crops more efficiently. As this was going on, the population grew, and people began to specialize in different work, and not do everything themselves like in a tribal culture. With hoarded food and grain came wealth, and some people gained a lot of wealth so they didn't have to work as hard. Other people didn't fit in with the civilization system, and they probably started drinking too much wine. Or maybe they had a birth defect, disease, or disability that was shunned by society. With civilization came both rich people and poor people. To survive, poor people started begging. Where in a tribal society, the tribe took care of everyone, in villages and cities, some people were simply left to die. These people started begging to stay alive. For whatever reason, they couldn't survive otherwise.

So begging and panhandling has only been around for this last 10,000 years, only one percent of the time intelligent hominids have walked the earth. As it says in the Bible, the poor will always be with us, help them out when you can. Panhandling is a way to seek help when you really need it, and it's a way to help out down-and-out people when you are doing well. In the rest of this blog, I'll tell you how to panhandle, the best ways to help panhandlers, and a few funny stories from the time I spent panhandling to survive. Enjoy.

How I became a panhandler

2011-01-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

I started this blog as a joke. I was looking for ways to make money online because I was out of work and stuck living in my parents' tiny apartment in a small town in North Carolina. It's a long story. I'd wound up a taxi driver after wandering away from working in the BMX, skateboarding, and TV industries years before. I wasn't sure where to go in my life, I had a lot of philosophical questions I wanted to answer, and I wandered off into odd jobs while I read a lot a books and tried to figure things out.

After many years of reading, thinking, and introspection, I realized that I'm a writer at heart who likes to draw, produce videos, write comedy material, and otherwise create things. I realized I needed to start my own business to put these talents to work.

Unfortunately, by the time I came to this conclusion, I was grossly overweight taxi driver working 100 hours a week and living in my cab. The taxi companies in Orange County, California flooded the county with taxis, which took money out of the drivers' pockets. Then they put in computer dispatching, with allowed incompetent people to survive as taxi drivers. Back in 2000, I could work three long days driving a taxi each week, and pay rent, own my own cheap car, and survive in Huntington Beach. By 2007, I had to lease the taxi by the week, which meant I had to work all seven days to pay the $600 a week I paid for the cab, and the $300 I paid a week for gas. I worked 16 to 20 hours six days each day, and 8 to 10 hours the seventh day. I slept in the cab because I couldn't afford rent anymore. I got a cheap motel room one night a week to catch up on sleep an watch a little TV. At one point I worked for two years straight with only five full days off. As the taxi industry went downhill, I struggled harder and harder to survive. In our current recession, lots of you know what I'm talking about.

Not too long ago there was a story on the web which listed taxi driving as the third most stressful job in the country, behind firefighters and corporate CEOs. To deal with that stress, I ate. Pizza. Chinese food. Chimichangas. Donuts. I gained over 150 pounds in about two years. My legs swelled, partially because I slept sitting up in a taxi, and partly because of my lack of exercise. I never got enough sleep. What I did eventually get was cellulitis. My lower left leg blew up to literally three times its normal size. It hurt like hell. But I didn't go to the hospital because I didn't have insurance. After five days, the guy who owned my cab said to just go to the hospital, there was some program that would cover the expenses. That's good, because the hospital bill was $19,000 for my three day stay. I went back to driving the cab. And I got cellulitis again. And again.

The third time, the doctor in the E.R. said that if I didn't stop driving a taxi, I was going to die... soon. So I went back to driving... for a few weeks. One morning I took a long drive out in the desert to think. I knew I had to just walk away from taxi driving, even though I could barely walk because of my swollen, cracked feet. So I dropped off my taxi and walked out onto the streets with $15 in my wallet. My family had wound up in North Carolina, and didn't want to help me. I'd drifted away form most of my friends. There weren't any houses full of BMX guys where I could stay cheap. So I hobbled out onto the streets, walking like an old man because of my swollen legs and cracked an bleeding feet. I weighed about 365 pounds at the time, and I figured I'd die within a few weeks, either from exposure or being attacked.

I had panhandled a bit several years before, when I was out of work for a while, so I knew it was an option. I started just walking up to people and asking for money to buy a bus pass each day, and a little food. After a couple weeks of scraping by like that, I knew I needed to get out on an off ramp with a sign. So I started doing that. My life was literally reduced to a day to day struggle to simply get enough food to keep me alive another day. I slept in the bushes or at bus stops or on all night buses. The police actively chase off panhandlers in Orange County, so I had to move around to different spots each day, where I might get an hour or two of actual panhandling in. I learned which places were the best at different times of day. Before long I could panhandle an hour a day to get the $6 to $10 I needed to survive. I saved up and finally got a cheap motel room after a month, so I could finally take a shower.

What I didn't know is that my family reported me missing because I didn't call them on Christmas. reporting a homeless person missing is pretty much the same as asking the police to kill them. On top of reporting me missing, my mom asked her well connected brother to help, and unfortunately for me, he knew someone who worked in the Orange County court system, and called in a favor. What happened to me in the next several months I would not wish on my worst enemy. I was literally terrorized by police for 10 months. The didn't arrest me. I only got two tickets during that time. But there was either a uniformed or undercover cop near me nearly every day for those months. I figure at least $100,000 of taxpayers money was wasted by those police, from several different agencies, in that year. All because my uncle called in a favor. Twice the police followed me 24 hours a day for three full days, not letting me sleep during that time. If I tried to sleep somewhere, a cop would roll by and spotlight me or hit the siren for a few seconds. Again, my only crime during that time was panhandling... and lseeping places I wasn't supposed to.

About two weeks into my time on the streets, I sat down at Carl's Jr. with a Diet Coke and came to the conclusion that I needed a project to work on. I wasn't dead yet. I couldn't panhandle enough to actually get going again. I was in horrible physical shape, which limited me quite a bit. But I needed something to focus my attention on... something to move towards. I spent all day, every day, avoiding the police and the other dangers of the street. I realized I had to find a goal to work towards.

In the year or so before I wound up on the streets, I had been toying with the idea of trying stand-up comedy. I wrote a bunch of material, lost my notebook, and then wrote dozens of pages of material again. My intuition told me comedy was my next direction in life. But the idea of getting on stage scared the hell out of me. So I'd been toying with it, but hadn't really dove into stand-up.

So I decided to write and porduce a super-low-bugdget comedy video while living on the streets. I had a Digital 8 video camera in the pawn shop. So I had to write and practice all the material, plan the video so I could do everything in one take, in order, without editing, and then panhandle enough money to get my camera out of the pawn shop. Sitting in that Carl's Jr. sipping my Diet Coke, that seemed impossible, but a total blast. So I decided to do it. That decision to produce a comedy video about homelessness saved my life.

It took me six weeks, but I accomplished my goal. I wrote, planned, and performed a one hour comedy video in six weeks. It wasn't great comedy, but it was pretty good. I panhandled enough money to get my camera out of the pawn shop, and I wandered around Orange County shooting the video scene by scene, with plain clothes cops watching, wondeirng what the hell I was doing. I put that video master tape in my storage unit, downright giddy that I had actually pulled it off.

I was never able to make copies of my homeless comedy video. The police pressure got so strong after a year, that I could no longer even panhandle bus fare. An old friend let me stay in an RV for a couple weeks, but I couldn't find a job in that area. So, after a year on the streets under intense police pressure, I finally accepted my family's offer to fly me to North Carolina. I didn't want to come to NC. I knew I'd have a terrible time trying to find a job, especially in the deep recession. but my dad was in poor health, and I wanted to see him before he died. It looked like he might not last much longer after two heart attacks, a severe stroke, and diabetes that cost him a toe. So I flew to North Carolina to see my sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, and to live with my parents for a while. I planned to stay two or three weeks, then head back to California. My family had other plans.

I had some things in a storage unit, vintage video footage from the early days of BMX freestyle, including Mat Hoffman, Spike Jonze, Chris Moeller, Dave Clymer and others. I wanted to produce a documentary from that footage. I had all my writing, poetry, artwork, video camera, and everything I owned in that storage unit. I had a Mac Powerbook in a pawn shop. I had people lined up to get my stuff and ship it to me. I needed to borrow about $250 to keep my life's work, including the master tapes to the BMX videos I'd produced years before. My family refused to loan me the money to get my stuff. I lost everything that meant anything to me. After nearly six straight years of homelessness, my life got even worse.

I started a blog about my days at FREESTYLIN' magazine to vent. It took off in the old school BMX world. I connected with old friends online and made some new ones. I kept blogging. But I still haven't found a job here. I tried to get a little Ebay business going to get something going, my family blocked those attempts. So I took off and wound up in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, ten miles from me parents' apartment, and fifteen miles from my sister and brother-in-law's 4,000 square foot house. My dad's still alive, doing puzzles and Sodoku to pass the time. I've spent the last four months in a homeless shelter here. Contrary to popular belief, homeless shelters DO NOT help people find jobs to get back on their feet. Mostly, homeless shelters are vacation spots from alcoholics and crackheads. If you have an income already, then you might be able to use the shelter to get going again. If you don't have an income, you're screwed... like me.

Like I said, I'm a writer at heart. Blogging is all I can afford to do right now, so I blog. I may still have to panhandle to stay alive in the future. We'll see. That's my story, that's how I came to be a panhandler, and why I'm writing a blog about it. Maybe, someday, this will be a bad memory, and I'll make a living writing books... or doing comedy. But for right now, I'm just another homeless guy trying to survive day by day.

Does Ted Williams have a chance?

2011-01-19T06:29:00.000-08:00

Much to my surprise, this crappy blog of mine is still getting 100 to 150 hits a day mostly because of Ted Williams' rise to fame as "The Homeless Man with the Golden Voice." Whattaya bet there's a TV movie in the works already.

I'll be honest, we still have nine or ten percent unemployment in lots of places, like right where I am in North Carolina, so if this hype can get panhandler Ted Williams back into a decent life, that's a good thing. Maybe it will help out a few other homeless people along the way. It's all a great media hype, something for the networks to latch onto and make a killing off of. In a week, Ted Williams went from homeless man to commodity to internet joke, like in the clip above.

I'm rootin' for the guy, I really am. I really hope he can keep it together to reinforce the idea that there actually are people with talent in the homeless world. There aren't that many with incredible talents, but they are out there. There are plenty of down and out people with everyday working skills who just can't find a job right now. From the first of this, I was hoping Ted would turn out to be one of those guys who learned from the crap he's been through, and was ready for a big break. I was hoping that he was ready for the world again, and psychologically stable enough to handle all the media hype and return to doing what he's good at.

Let's talk about that hype, though. First, this whole thing was a set-up to start with. It was a local TV reporter who took that first video of Ted. So that reporter was looking for a story to start with. I doubt he expected anything like what actually happened, though. The oldest version of that original Ted Williams clip that I see now has 9.7 million hits on You Tube. To put that into perspective, this clip of internet singing sensation Grayson Chance singing Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" has 4.4 million hits. Lady Gaga herself has about 49 million hits on the official version of that song. This professionally shot version of Bruce Springsteen singing "Jungleland" has only 123,000 views. This Yes We Can clip featuring president Barrack Obama has 1.5 million views. This clip about a day in the life of porn star Tera Patrick has just over a million hits. This ultra-cutesy Whack-a-kitty clip has 3.5 million views. The point is, Ted Williams is now as famous as President Obama, Lady Gaga,porn star Tera Patrick, and those cute kittens. Fame is a tough card to handle no matter who you are. Look at all the crap people give Miley Cryus for simply growing up. Once you become famous, people not only know who you are, but they think you owe them something. If a famous person doesn't give a psycho fan an autograph, they get vilified on TMZ. Even for the most psychologically stable person with a sound support system around them, instant fame like Ted Williams has to deal with would be tough to handle. Most of you reading this simply could not deal with suddenly being thrust into that world. I got a little taste of fame once, and it freaked me out.

In the late 1980's, I was into BMX freestyle, doing tricks on BMX bikes. I helped BMX legend and TV producer Scot Breithaupt put together a street riding contest for to make a TV show out of. The show was really low-budget, like many of the independently produced shows on ESPN then. So Scot used himself, co-host Dave Stanfield, and me and my friends in the intro. At a time when BMX freestyle rarely made it on TV, I was in a show that everyone watched. A couple months later I went to New Jersey for a contest, and complete strangers were walking up and saying "Steve, what's up?" They were acting like we were old friends. It really freaked me out. It was weird and creepy and kind of cool. But not as cool as you want it to be. And that was just a tiny taste of fame. Fame has destroyed many of our most talented people, and contributed to the demise of many others. Only really tough people can deal with that.

So is Ted Williams tough enough to hang in there for the long term? If the hype dies down, and if the media vultures find another good story soon, he just might be. Last I heard he's got a lot of offers, and some seem like steady work. If he can keep busy with steady work, and juggle his family, his past crimes, and that work, maybe he can do it. But seeing those couple of clips when he broke down, he seemed to still have that addict/alcoholic response where you break down and say you're sorry, which is a bad sign. With everything that happened, I hope he was just truly overwhelmed with it all, and that breaking down isn't a pattern in him. To be honest, it will be another miracle if he's in a stable life a year from now. He's been in that radio/voice over world before, and he knows the dangers and temptations of it. He's also screwed up and been through the wringer, he's been on the streets. A lot of people don't make it that far. So I hope he's ready for this media machine he's been thrust into, and I hope he comes out the other side in good shape. Time will tell. Good luck Ted.

Solo street drummer

2011-01-18T08:48:00.000-08:00

Here's one drummer really tearing it up.

Scottish street drummers

2011-01-18T08:45:00.000-08:00

What happens if that street drumming crew in the last post never finds jobs? That's right, they get drunk and turn into Scotsmen. Half a world away, and pretty similar.

Street Drummers in Chicago

2011-01-18T08:42:00.000-08:00

Well, I thought the people finding this blog would dry up as the Ted Williams story died down, but it's still getting a lot of hits. Here's a damn good street drumming crew from Chicago.

Flatlander and drummer at Venice Beach

2011-01-14T12:29:00.000-08:00

In that last post I mentioned Venice Beach, California. I once heard a comedian say that if you tipped the U.S. up on it's end, all the freaks and weirdos would bounce down to California, and the freakiest freaks would wind up in Venice Beach. That's why you go to Venice Beach, to people watch... and you buy cheap sunglasses because of your hangover. But mostly to people watch. Here we have one bike flatlander busting out, this guy is really good, by the way. This is what I did at Huntington Beach with a bunch of other BMXers and skateboarders in the 80's. We never asked for money, it was just fun and practice for us. I once figured out that I rode my bike in front of more than 140,000 people during those days at the Huntington Beach pier. We just wanted to ride in front of people back then, to show people this weird new sport of BMX freestyle. I rode for crowds at Venice a few times, too. There's also a street drummer, which I really dig, tappin' off some rhythm in this clip, too.

Break dancers in NYC subway

2011-01-14T12:16:00.001-08:00

Any place where you find big groups of people hanging out, you have a chance of finding some pretty amazing break dancers and acrobats. When I was on the streets of SoCal, and trying some street performing comedy to get away from panhandling, I ran into a really good crew like this. It's not just break dancing anymore, but acrobatics as well. I think street performers are one of the great draws of big cities. Or even smaller cities. Everyone in Southern California knows that if you want to have an interesting day, you go to Venice Beach. It's not that great of a beach. The restrooms are nasty. It's near the hood. But Venice is wear you'll see the freaks, every kind of weird person you could imagine... and a few you probably couldn't imagine. That includes a bunch of street performers.

Famous people who were once homeless

2011-01-08T07:35:00.000-08:00

Above you see actor Daniel Craig as James Bond in the great parkour chase scene from Casino Royale. According to the angelfire.com website, Daniel Craig was once homeless. A lot of well known people either lived in their car, a homeless shelter, or on the streets at some point in their lives. Here are some of those people:

Jesus spiritual leader, The Buddha spiritual leader, Bodhidharma monk/claimed creator of Shaolin Gung Fu, John Drew Barrymore actor/Drew Barrymore's dad, Halle Berry actress, Danny Bonaduce actor/musician/radio host, Jean Michele Basquiat painter, Drew Carey comedian/actor, Jim Carrey comedian/actor, Charlie Chaplin movie writer/producer/actor, Chloe porn star, Kurt Cobain musician, Daniel Craig actor, The Cramps (founding members Lux Interior, Poison Ivy, and Bryan Gregory), John Paul Dejoria billionaire co-founder of John Paul Mitchell hair care products, Ella Fitzgerald singer, BenFranklin printer/inventor/scientist /philosopher/founding father of the U.S., Diane Fossey gorilla researcher, Kelsey Grammer actor, Cary Grant actor, Jane Goodall chimp researcher, Woodie Guthrie folk singer/songwriter, Harry Houdini magician, Djimon Hounsou actor, Burl Ives singer/actor, Jewel singer/songwriter, Robert & Kim Kiyosaki business people/investors/author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad book series, KRS-ONE rapper, Vladimir Kush painter, Jay Leno comedian/talk show host, David Letterman comedian/talk show host, Lil' Kim rapper, Traci Lords porn star/actress, Rose McGowan actress/singer, Metallica (founding members), Jim Morrison singer/songwriter, John Muir enviromentalist/writer, George Orwell writer, Tyler Perry movie writer/producer/actor, Sally Jessy Raphael comedian/talk show host, Joan Rivers comedian/talk show host, Tupac Shakur rapper, William Shatner actor, Martin Sheen actor, Patti Smith poet/singer/songwriter/the first punk rocker, Hilary Swank actress, Mark Twain (Samuel Clemmons) writer/humorist, Shania Twain singer/songwriter, Jean Claude Van Damme martial artist/actor.

This list was compiled partly from my own research and partly from angelfire.com. For a much more complete list of once homeless famous people, check their website link.

Golden voice Ted Williams is working

2011-01-08T07:08:00.000-08:00

No video above, but it's good audio of Ted Williams on the Dave and Jimmy morning show again in Columbus, Ohio. If you've been watching TV or on the internet in the last few days, you've seen and heard of Ted Williams, the "homeless man with the golden voice." In this clip a woman from the Cleveland Cavaliers staff offers Ted a full time job AND a mortgage on a house. It one or two other clips on You Tube, Ted says that this is the best offer. So at this point, it appears that the radio announcer turned addict turned turned felon turned homeless panhandler turned You Tube hit and voice over sensation, Ted Williams, will probably be working for the Cleveland Cavaliers and Quicken Loans very soon.

One homeless panhandler taken care of.... 3,499,999 homeless people left to find jobs and homes for.

Here's another news report on Ted Williams. His story and fame this week brought several hundred people to my blog. So thanks for checking it out. There are plenty of homeless people out there who have serious talent, and many who've become famous after being homeless. But most of the people on the streets and in the shelters are fairly ordinary people with everyday skills. They won't be pulled out of obscurity and thrust into the limelight by their talents. How to we these people functioning in the world again? That's the real question. Thanks for checking out my blog folks, I hope it gives you a little better understanding of the world of homelessness and panhandling.

Panhandling as performance art

2011-01-07T08:05:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the world's premier panhandling blog!

If you're looking for Ted Williams, the "golden voice" panhandler turned radio announcer, go back a few posts, I have two posts about him. Because of his fame this week, this blog is getting a surge of readers, so I'm trying to give you all your money's worth.

Better off than Britney: panhandling as performance art

I started panhandling back in 2001 when I was out of work and looking for a decent job. A couple of panhandlers on the off ramp near my house told me they made about $75 a day, which was more than I made at my job at the time. So I gave it a try. I soon found out they were lying about the $75, because the police would run people off long before anyone could make $75. But I also learned that I could scrounge up a little bit of money for food or bus fare by panhandling. I soon got a job, and never intended to panhandle again.

Then in late 2007, I walked away from taxi driving, weighing about 365 pounds, and in really poor health. My health got that bad by working for four years trying to get back on my feet driving a taxi in Orange County, California. I lived in the cab, took a shower at the gym, and worked 16 to 20 hours a day most of the time. I got a motel room, and a good night's sleep, once a week. That lifestyle very nearly killed me with three bouts of cellulitis in one year. (Google "cellulitis, lower leg", those pics are similar to what happened to me). I walked out onto the streets figuring I'd die within a few weeks. I had $15 in my pocket.

After a couple of days, I'd used the money for food and bus passes, and started panhandling to simply survive. No friends would let me stay with them. I'd drifted away from most of my friends while driving the cab. My family lived in North Carolina, and wouldn't loan me money to get going again. So I was homeless.

Months before leaving taxi driving, I rented a movie on my night off, Jerry Seinfeld's Comedian. It's the documentary about Jerry starting all over in stand-up comedy after his TV show ended. When I saw the behind-the-scenes footage of Jerry and other comics, I thought, "I am one of those guys." It wasn't a thought, it was a realization. I was always making up little funny scenes or bits, I just never thought of them as stand-up comedy. Watching that movie, I knew that stand-up comedy was my next direction in life. But the thought of getting up in front of people scared the hell out of me. So I told myself that I'd start writing some material, and if it seemed halfway decent, then I'd go to an open mic night and actually try it out. A couple of months later I had ten pages of just comedy bit ideas, and I had sixty pages of actual material written. I started working out the first few bits, practicing them in my cab. Once in a while, I'd run part of a bit by my passengers, and got a good response most of the time. Several passengers told me I should become a comedian because of my witty reparte' in the cab. So I started going to an open mic night just to watch other comedians.

As luck would have it, I walked away from taxi driving about the same time I was actually getting the guts up to try my material on stage, and I never actually made it to an open mic night. Next thing I know, I was standing on an off ramp with a little cardboard sign. After a month, I scrounged up enough money to get a really cheap motel room for a night. It didn't even have cable TV. As luck, fate, or coincidence would have it, this happened during the Britney Spears freakout period. On TMZ that night was a clip of Britney going to court, and she was sitting in her car when a panhandler walked up and asked her for some money in front of the cameras. In a British accent, Britney told him, "You're probably better off than I am." The next day I wrote "Better Off Than Britney," on the back of my panhandling sign. It said "Homeless and Hungry" on the front. If no one responded to the front of the sign, I'd turn it around and see if I could get a laugh. That was the start of my comedy career. After four or five groups of cars, a guy with lots of tattoos laughed loudly at the "Britney" sign and waved me over. He gave me five bucks and said, "That's fucking hilarious dude!" From that point on, I always had something funny on the back of my sign. I figure I made an extra $50 or so a month with the funny slogan on the back of the sign.

But something else happened panhandling. The best paying off ramps are almost always in the early evening with people coming home from work. I was standing there with my sign, a homeless guy in horrible health panhandling for food and bus money. But I soon noticed that I usually felt happier than the people driving by me looked. Those people in their BMW's and Benzes and Infinity's looked horribly depressed most of the time. A small percentage of those people were giving me, a complete stranger, money to survive. I figured that if I could give them a laugh with my sign, I'd be giving something back, at least in a small way. Much like that homeless man I gave a dollar to in San Francisco years before, with the "Why lie, I need a beer" sign, I could make a bunch of those people laugh, or at least crack a smile and forget about life for a minute or two. Maybe I could even give them a memory that would last a while. What is that worth to a person in their busy life, to give them a thought that they can remember, and laugh whenever it's necessary? It's not incredibly altruistic, but it could be worth quite a bit to someone.

So I started thinking of more funny signs. Sometimes I would just stand on a ramp with funny signs and not even worry about making money. It was fun to just make people smile. A couple of times people would roll their windows down and thank me for making them laugh, and say they wanted to give me a dollar, but they didn't have any money with them. I'd reach in my pocket and give them a dollar. Reverse panhandling. I would joke with people that I was starting my comedy career but they wouldn't let me on stage yet, so I had to stand on the off ramp. I made a lot of people laugh in that year on the streets.

On the 4th of July, 2008, I made up about six funny signs and went down to Newport Boulevard, in Costa Mesa, California, where thousands of people head down to Newport Beach to party for the 4th. I had enough money to get through a couple days, so I wasn't even thinking about making money. I just wanted to see what kind of response I could get. Newport Boulevard gets totally gridlocked on the 4th, so I had a captive audience. One sign said, "If you lived here, you'd be drunk by now." Another said "Skanks Ahoy!," something two guys in my cab once said while looking for women. Since so many people get busted drinking on the 4th in Newport Beach, I made a sign that said, "Hurry Up - your ticket is waiting." Several police paddy wagons honked, hooted and hollered at that one, which really surprised me. Newport Beach police aren't known for their sense of humor, especially on the 4th of July. I was out there on a corner for a couple of hours. The police didn't bother me. A lot of people laughed, honked, and a few offered me beers, which I didn't accept. That was truly the first time I flew panhandling signs specifically as performance art and comedy. I had a blast, and made a bunch of people laugh who were stuck in horrible traffic. It was a good time all around.

Whatever you think of people panhandling for money, I give some props to anyone who tries to make you laugh, or think, with a sign. It continues to amaze me how I can make a complete stranger laugh with a few words scribbled on a piece of cardboard. It's pretty crazy when you think about it. I made a sign recently, when I was panhandling in 25 degree weather, that said, "My assets are frozen." A very proper business guy rolled down his window with a tiny smile on his face. He gave me $4. I'm sure he'd never given to a panhandler before, but that sign got to him. As I grabbed the money, I asked, "Did my sign make you laugh?" He nodded quietly and rolled up the window. I would bet that sometime that day, or maybe the next, he told someone in the banking world about the witty sign some panhandler, me, had. That's pretty cool when you think about it.

When I get back on my feet, I will pursue my career in stand-up comedy, or writing of some sort. I'm a humorist writer at heart. But for now, my comedy career is limited to the back of my panhandling signs when I fly a sign. So when I found this clip this morning, it totally reminded me off all the time I spent out there studying human nature and making people laugh with a cardboard sign.

Keep Austin Weird

2011-01-07T08:01:00.000-08:00

A guy named Old School panhandling in Austin, Texas. Did you know that Austin, Texas is used as an example of how a crazy culture attracts entrepreneurs, start-up businesses, and economic success by author Richard Florida. No, I didn't think you knew that. Read The Rise of the Creative Class by Florida to learn what I'm talking about.

Bumtastic episode 3

2011-01-07T07:57:00.000-08:00

Hey, at least they're trying to be funny...

Two Bucks Short Film

2011-01-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

When I started this blog more than a year ago, there were two or three websites that had pics of funny panhandling signs. Now there are a whole bunch of videos and short films like this. This one is great. According to the You Tube post, Two Bucks Short came in 8th at the Toronto Urban Film Festival.

There are how to vids for everything on the web

2011-01-07T07:33:00.000-08:00

While I disagree with some of their advice, it's simply hilarious that this video was actually professionally made.

How most people see panhandlers

2011-01-07T07:23:00.000-08:00

The streets and ghettos of America are rough and dangerous places, and there are a lot of shady characters. This is messed up at every level. It's hard to generalize panhandlers, but no panhandler I've ever known is a mugger. That's why they panhandle, to avoid criminal activity. Yeah, panhandling is a prosecutable crime most places, but it's not a violent crime. Beggin itself isn't a crime, it's usually the location, like an offramp, that makes it a crime. Most panhandlers I've met draw that line. The guy in this clip is one of the exceptions.

By the way, how'd that guy get into ROTC if he has seizures? And you'll notice that this report is on the Today Show, the same show currently giving loads of airtime to panhandler/radio announcer Ted Williams. he was on their show live this morning again.

Panhandling The Movie... sort of

2011-01-06T13:15:00.000-08:00

Years ago, when I was a well employed young lad, I accompanied my sister and her friends to Pier 39 in San Francisco. I saw a panhandler sitting by the sidewalk with a sign that said, "Why lie, I need a beer." It made me laugh. So I gave the guy a dollar. Some people may think that it was stupid of me to help out a homeless drunkard. But he made me laugh, and I feel that a laugh is definitely worth a dollar. Here I am, fifteen years later, and I'm still talking about a bum I saw for a minute way back then. I definitely got my dollar's worth. I'd give him another dollar now if I knew how to find him.

Panhandling signs are a part of our culture, like it or not. If you're sick of panhandlers, let them sleep on your couch 'til they find a job. Yeah, that's what I thought. You don't want to help them that much. So give 'em a dollar. Or in the case of the guys who made this video, give them an A and some extra credit.

Skinny street singer

2011-01-06T13:08:00.000-08:00

Here's proof you don't even need flesh to be an entertaining street singer.

Golden voice panhandler Ted Williams

2011-01-06T07:03:00.000-08:00

Welcome to world's premier panhandling blog...

This story is amazing. Three days ago Ted Williams was panhandling with a sign on an off ramp in Columbus, Ohio. He is a former radio DJ and announcer who got into drinking and drugs in the 1990's, and his downward spiral led to homelessness. I think it was the day before yesterday that a local news cameraman rolled up Ted's off ramp and shot this video of Ted panhandling and demonstrating his amazing voice. As of right now (1/6/11), the video has about 11.7 million hits on You Tube. In the clip above, we see a cleaned up Ted back in his natural surrounding of a radio studio, on the Dave and Jimmy show in Columbus. As they say in the clip, these radio DJ's brought Ted in to give him a day's pay and see if they could find him some voice over work to get back on his feet. Much to everyone's surprise, Ted's story went viral on the web, and offers started coming from all over the place. Here's Ted this morning on the Today Show.

So now a whole bunch of people, including myself with this blog, are leeching off Ted's instant fame. You may be asking why some actually writes a blog about panhandling. Simply, I became homeless and had to panhandle to survive for a year while living in Southern California. It's a long story, and I'll go into it in future posts in more depth. While Ted had worked in radio years ago, I worked in the BMX and skateboard industries, wrote for magazines, and worked on the crew of several TV shows, including four seasons on American Gladiators. I burned out on the TV industry, did a few odd jobs, and wound up a taxi driver in Orange County, California. I've been struggling with homelessness ever since. I rarely drink, I think I've had five beers in the last five years. I don't do drugs. I was just living cheaply, and changes in the taxi industry made it tougher and tougher to make any money. First the companies went to computer dispatching, which hurt all the good drivers. Then the recession hit, taking abig chunk out of taxi business in 2007. I gained over 150 pounds while working 100+ hours a week, and got so sick I couldn't drive anymore. I walked away from the cab and onto the streets.

There's a lot of talent in the homeless community, and everyone has a story. Most of those stories will surprise you. Maybe Ted's good fortune will help a few others out as well.

Street musician playing a saw in NYC

2011-01-06T06:26:00.000-08:00

In a comment, "M" told me about this New York City street musician. Does anyone else think that a street musician/street performer revue would be a good idea. A TV show. A documentary. Or even a live show. I think it could be done. Well, that's how Cirque du Soleil started in Montreal in the 1980's, a group of street performers decided to reinvent the circus. It worked. Just because someone's plying their trade for tips on a corner doesn't mean they can't find success elsewhere. A lot of great performers honed their skills for sidewalk crowds.

Brad Prowley rocks the Apollo

2011-01-05T06:52:00.000-08:00

Another homeless street performer rocking a real audience... at The Apollo in Harlem, no less. In the comments of this clip, someone thought this was a famous person, presumably Bruce Willis, dressed up. It looks kinda like him, but there are other videos of Brad singing on the streets. And here's his blog.

Ave Maria by a European street performer

2011-01-05T06:47:00.000-08:00

I wasn't sure if this one was for real at first. The voice is incredible, by the sound synch seemed a bit off. With the backgournd talking an noise, though, it seems like the real thing. Incredible voice.

Homeless Soul Singer

2011-01-05T06:43:00.000-08:00

Another great singer in a subway tunnel somewhere...

This clip only has 825 views as I write this.

Homeless Mustard sings Creep

2011-01-05T06:35:00.000-08:00

This video of a guy known as "Homeless Mustard" has 1.8 million hits You Tube. For real. Here's a great version of the same song by The Pretenders I stumbled across.

Homeless singer in Vancouver

2011-01-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

When I looked up the "homeless man with the golden voice" on You Tube just now, I found several homeless, street perfroming singers. So I'm going to put the best few on the blog to give you an idea of the talent wandering the streets of the world.

The homeless man with the golden voice

2011-01-05T06:24:00.000-08:00

How big can you make it as a panhandler? I heard about this guy on Good Morning America while sitting in the shelter this morning. There's some irony for ya. In this clip, The Young Turks show a clip and interview with a Columbus, Ohio panhandler with a great radio voice. I hope this guy gets working again. There are some really remarkable talents in the homeless/panhandling communities. This guy sort of reminds me of my favorite homeless movie, The Fisher King, featuring Robin Williams and Jeff Bridges (?). For those of you wealthy snobs who disagree, I'll remind you that Cirque du Soleil started as a group of street performers.

Publisher's note- A few hours later... Well, apparently that video above went viral yesterday, and I put it up earlier this morning. Now there's a video of this guy, Ted Williams, being interviewed on a morning news show. He has a haircut, and he's been offered several jobs, including one with the Cleveland Cavaliers, according to the story. I'm happy for the guy.

The next day... I'm living in a shelter at the moment, and they turn on the Today Show every morning. Ted was there today (1/6/11) introducing the hosts at the beginning, and was interviewed later. A news story last night showed a radio station, Columbus, Ohio area, I think, offering Ted a $10,000 contract to do voice overs in coming months. The Cleveland Cavaliers offered him work. Someone offered to get him a house or something like that. That's the power of You Tube these days, it can change someone's life literally overnight. Ask all those funny kittens who've had their 15 minutes of fame and are now in kitty rehab from all the success and boozing. I hope Ted is grounded enough to handle what's happening to him. He comes across as a good guy.

A look at homelessness

2011-01-04T07:20:00.000-08:00

This video gives a look at the worst aspects of homelessness. Just for the record, Obama is in no way responsible for the homeless problem. When a government like the United States is as grossly mismanaged as ours was during the George W. Bush years, there will be an economic collapse soon after. President Obama inherited that collapse. Things got worse on his shift, but not because of his actions.

Panhandling stems from homelessness. So before I go back to writing about panhandling, I need to address homelessness in general. Unfortunately, I'm an expert on the subject. I'm homeless now, and have been in and out of homelessness for a decade. I'm currently living in a shelter in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Every morning they wake us up at 5:45 am, and I think I should just move out and live on the streets or in the woods. Shelters are horrible, HORRIBLE places to live. But they have showers. A hot shower is the ONLY thing that makes living in a shelter tolerable. To be completely honest, the quality of life is much better living on the streets. But that's a subject for a different day.

I'm in a shleter trying to scrounge up enough money to start work as a taxi driver here. If I can start earning a living, I can save up and move back home to California where there's work for my particular skills. The system to end homelessness is actually my biggest obstacle in getting back on my feet. Again, that's a subject for another post. The point of this post is that there are about 3.5 million homeless people in the United States at best estimates. The standard belief, fed by decades of media stereo-typing and PR campaigns, is that all homeless people are mentally ill or addicts or both. That's just not true. A large percentage of homeless people drink and use drugs, and for a sizable group of these people, those addictions are an issue in their lives. But most of the homeless people have drinking or drug habits similar to most of you well-housed people. The stumbling drunks are, and always have been, a tiny part of the homeless population. Most of the people who have gone through a program to quit drugs or alcohol now smoke cigarettes like crazy. and if you've ever been to an AA or NA meeting, you know that coffee is necessary for the group. While these may be legal and less demanding addictions, they are still addictions, and they belong to most "former" addicts regardless of where they live.

As for mental illness in the homeless community, you'll find just as many crazy people in any trailer park or ghetto as you will in a homeless population. That's where most homeless people come from, anyhow. As a former taxi driver in Huntington Beach and Newport Beach, California, which are really wealthy areas, I can tell you that mental illness is widespread in the wealthy community as well, but it's tolerated because they can earn or handle money reasonably well.

I think having financial author Robert Kiyosaki, of the Rich Dad, Poor Dad book series, teach homeless people about finances would help them far more than the current drug-heavy mental health programs do. Most homeless people came from homes with poor financial skills, which compounded their addiction and other problems. What deliniates homeless people from the regular population is largely financial skills. There are plenty of wealthy alcoholics and addicts who function in the world, we call them senators, Congresspeople, and businesspeople. Alcoholism is practically a prerequisite to living in a ultra high income area like Newport Beach, California or Beverly Hills. Ever see a huge house that didn't have a wine fridge or a bar? Not too often.

Everyone has problems in their life, and we have to work through them. The people who wind up homeless have many of the same issues the rest of you do, but they usually have poor financial skills (like many of you), and they don't have the social network to help them stay afloat in tough times. The wealthy often support their adult children with addicition or metal health problems. As a taxi driver, I've met people in their 50's who were still being supported by their parents to avoid embarassing the family name. In a poor or middle class family, those same people would wind up homeless.

The issue of homelessness is complex, there are no "average" homeless people, and everyone has their own story. Focusing soley on overcoming addictions or perceived mental health issues doesn't solve the homeless problem, it just makes taxpayers support those people, or support them longer. In upcoming posts, I'll go into more depth on some of these issues about homelessness and panhandling. But first, check out the homeless singer videos I found on You Tube. The highly talented people are a small part of the homeless population, but they are out there.

Back to panhandling

2010-12-29T06:54:00.000-08:00

I started this blog over a year ago as a joke. I was starting to look for ways to make money online after winding up stuck at my parents place in North Carolina. Being homeless definitely sucks, but winding up living in your parents spare bedroom in when you're in your 40's is far worse. Winding up in that situation in amongst the zealots of the Bible Belt is far worse yet.

So I was looking for a new way to make a living. Years of taxi driving 100 hours a week resulted in homelessness, panhandling, then my parents apartment. I'd also lived almost entirely offline until late 2008, and had missed the good and bad that the internet has to offer. So I started web surfing every day, looking to see if there was a way to make money in my situation at the time. I wasn't looking for a 'get rich quick' scheme, but a legit way to start earning cash beginning with nothing. I had an old school BMX blog that blew up in it's niche, yet I had no idea you could make money with a blog. I was trying to scrape up enough money to get a little Craigslist/Ebay business going to start. The plan was to go to auctions, buy stuff cheap, and resell it, either online or at the swap meet. But I couldn't scrape up enough money. My family worked against me on that idea, so I kept searching online for other opportunities. Affiliate marketing was one of the first ideas I came across. so I started to listen to all the videos about it and learn what it was all about. From one of those videos, I learned a technique to move websites and blogs up in the Google rankings. If you want people to find your site or blog, you want it to show up on the first page of Google search results. So I started Make Money Panhandling, and several other blog ideas, to test out this technique. Much to my surprise, it worked. This blog now comes up first if you Google the title.

I wrote a few posts just to get something in the blog. I still didn't know how to upload pictures, to make links, or embed videos. I was a complete internet 'tard. Yet people found this blog, and started reading it. Then I realized I could do some things with this blog. I could talk about money iteself, and I could put in some posts with affiliate links and make money off all you suckers. So I got enthused, and started writing posts on a regular basis. I wanted this blog to be funny and entertaining, but also a place where you could learn a thing or two. I started writing a bunch of posts on obscure ways to make money. Maybe a little money, maybe a lot of money. These were things I found interesting, so I passed them along.

Meanwhile, I was learning about affiliate marketing, which seemed like a total scam. I also filled out some online surveys to see if that worked. And I was trying to scroung up money to get the Ebay business going. And I was fighting with my mom, who thought it would be wonderful if I just got a minimum wage job, and helped pay her rent. To her, the idea of me being a personal slave seemed perfect. She couldn't understand why I didn't find it very appealing. I'd already taken off and lived in a homeless shelter for three months to get away from that situation. Last year when I started this blog, I was back at their place trying to make a go of it. But it didn't work. Now I'm back in a shelter looking for a job of some kind.

But the whole time I kept blogging, finding all kinds of different ways to make money, and writing about them. Yet during that same time, I couldn't make a living myself, due mostly to all the family drama. And the recession. I never even got an interview at any of the jobs I applied for. Times are tough, and I'm in a part of the country still trying to get the lost manufacturing jobs back. In general, The South is not a visionary place, and they're way behind on the social changes that have taken place in the world. North Carolina is not on the forefromt of the new economy.

Plus I'm not a born again Christian. That seems to be the only thing that matters here.

That would explain the incompetence in every business here. People are hired here because they share a belief system, not because they can actually do the job. For example, there's no such thing as a fast food restaurant in North Carolina. Sure, the franchises are here, but you can walk into a McDonald's or whatever, and stand there looking at the cashier for three or four minutes before he or she asks for your order. It's like that at every business here, except Aldi's grocery store. That's the only place that hires competent people here. Aldi's kick ass.

Anyhow, I now have a hundred post blog with dozens of ideas on how to make money. Yet because I'd been homeless, because of my family drama, and because I just don't fit in here, I'm still struggling to scrape up enough money to get a phone, and some decent clothes, so I can actually go look for a job. Or better yet, get a business started. While that's happening, Blogger added a Stats function to the blogs, so I can see how many of you are reading, when you read, and what posts you read. The posts that get the most hits- by far - are the funny panhandling signs, and the posts about panhandling itself. Well, I guess that's what you expect from a panhandling blog.

So for the rest of this blog, I'm going to talk about my experiences as a panhandler, about homeless and street culture in general, and about how to become a better panhandler. Like it or not, I'm a pro at it. I didn't want to be. But I got to the point where I had to panhandle to survive. I not only survived, but I lived the best year of my life on the streets of Southern California. Despite constant police pressure, due largely to my family reporting me missing and lying about me to the police, I panhandled for a year straight. Surviving through that year is the greatest accomplishment of my life. It sucks to say that, but unfortunately it's true. Outthinking the police day after day while living on the streets is a hll of a challenge. Ultimately they forced me to move out of Southern California, but they spent hundreds of thousands of dollars doing it. Believe me, if the general public had any idea of how many millions of dollars are spent by police harassing panhandlers, they'd find houses for all the homeless. It would actually be cheaper, I think.

So I'm changing the focus of this blog back to match the title. And I'll tell you how I can to that decision. I was "volunteering" at the shelter I live at on Christmas day. Two days ago. Homeless shleters, like the panhandlers they house, survive by donations and volunteer work. If you're a homeless guy at the shelter and halfway dependable, they will ask you to help out. In my case, I work three hours- for free- at the front desk each night. On Christmas day, there were two regular volunteers helping also. They were an upstanding couple in their sixties, well off financially, who help out at the shleter a couple nights each month.

Someone mentioned the new panhandling law going into effect here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. As of January 1, 2011, panhandling will be illegal, and anyone who wants to panhandle will have to get a free permit from the police. The permit will allow the person to panhandle, but not from a traffic median of any kind. So in essence, you're still allowed to panhandle, but you have to stand in places that are no good to panhandle. And while you may think that the fine Christian people of the South are really generous to the less fortunate, you'd be wrong. The people of North Carolina are the biggest tightwads this panhandler has ever seen.

In any case, the volunteer couple was happy that the new law would end panhandling here in Winston-Salem. I told them it wasn't going to end it at all, just tone it down a bit. Since I'm a homeless guy, they didn't believe me. So I said, "panhandling is one subject I know, I have the #1 panhandling blog in the world." They lady looked at me apalled, which I found quite amusing. She asked with disgust, "What do you write? Do you give them tips?" It was obvious she could not comprehend anything about panhandling that merited writing about. I replied, quite politely, "Mostly I write about alternative ways to make money when you don't have much to start with." The fine upstanding Christian woman didn't talk to me the rest of the evening. That's when I realized I needed to go back to writing about panhandling and the world of the homeless. Because while dozens of people volunteer at the shelter I'm staying at, and hundreds of other shelters, very few of them understand homelessness, and panhandling at all. So I'm going to tell you all about it. Hang on, it's gonna be a fun ride.

Panhandling at Christmas

2010-12-22T08:29:00.000-08:00

I saw Santa Claus and Mrs. Clause, and a couple of retarded looking elves, panhandling near the mall here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, yesterday. I wish I would've had a camera. They were selling candy canes on the street median. You know times are tough when you see that.

During my year on the streets a couple of years ago, I benefited from the police busting all the panhandlers on December 23rd that year. I panhandled on Christmas Eve, and made about $50 because the police thought they'd busted everyone the day before. One guy offered me a frozen turkey. For real. He jumped out of his car, popped the trunk, and held a turkey up. I said, "I'm homeless, how am I gonna cook a turkey?" He didn't get it.

That night, I stopped near The Block of Orange Mall, after a good day of panhandling the off ramp in a working class neighborhood. So I walked over to the Crystal Cathedral "church," home of televangelist Robert Schuller. They have a huge Christmas show, and I decided to try and panhandle the people parking illegally at the restaurant across the street, then walking to the show. After all, it was Christmas Eve, and these were fine, upstanding, wealthy Christians going to see the show. Surely one or two of them would throw a homeless guy $20 on Christmas Eve, right? I'm sure you guessed by now, not one of them gave me a dime. One woman even pulled out her pepper spray as she walked by me. I just started laughing.

Panhandling before Christmas is usually pretty good, if you can find a spot where you don't get busted. But you better save that money, because the panhandling dies down to almost nothing in January.

What if we didn't give bailouts to the wealthy?

2010-11-20T11:41:00.001-08:00

What would have happened if the government hadn't bailed out the banks in 2008 and 2009? This clip gives you an idea.

Ways to make money online

2010-11-17T10:22:00.000-08:00

I lived my life almost completely offline until late 2008. I had an email account I checked about once a week, and I did a short blog while I was a taxi driver. But I didn't have a Myspace or Facebook account (still don't), I rarely surfed the web, and didn't have much use for it. Then the taxi business crashed with the recession, I wound up homeless, and eventually came to North Carolina to live with my parents. I had no job, no income, and the family situation made everything worse. But I did have access to a computer finally. I started a blog about my days in BMX freestyle. My blog soon went viral in the old school bmx online community, which is pretty funny because I didn't even know there was an online, old school, BMX community. I kept blogging, and when I couldn't find a job, I started to look for online opportunities to make money. That search started this blog, though it was just a joke at first. I'm still not making any steady money online, but I have learned quite a bit. Here are the basic ways an average person can make money using the internet.

1. Online surveys- they sound cool, but no one has ever showed me a check from one of them. don't waste your time.
2. Sell something on Craigslist- Not to sexy, but it's the easiest way to start making money using the internet.
3. Sell stuff on Ebay- This takes more time an effort to do it consistently, but there are thousands of people making their living selling stuff on Ebay.
4. Sell handmade items on Etsy- Etsy is like Ebay for crafts and handmade items. You're not going to make a fortune, but it you make stuff yourself, you can probably sell it there. There are people making their living doing this.
5. Affiliate marketing- This one is a buzzword among the get rich quick people, which sucks because affiliate marketing is a legit way to make money, and it's a big part of what keeps the internet going.
6. Contextual ads like Google Adsense- Adsense and other contextual ads are easy... if you have a website or blog. But you have to have a lot of traffic to really make any money.
7. Direct ads sales- Like a newspaper or magazine, you can start a website and sell ads directly to interested businesses. This takes A LOT more work than the contextual ads, and more computer and sales skills. But you pick the price to charge for your ads.
8. Start a membership website- Suicide Girls comes to mind, which says something about my tastes, but there are a lot of sites where you pay for information or to use the site, or pay for premium content. This is a serious business with a lot of different skills needed to pull it off, but it can lead to big income if it takes off.

That's basically it. Almost everyone making money on the web is using one of the techniques above, and usually several of those techniques. If you're willing to put in the effort, you can too. In coming posts I'll go into what I've learned about these different techniques, who I think are the people you can really learn from, and what the challenges are to get them going.

Blog stats

2010-11-13T13:01:00.000-08:00

All together, I have 19 blogs, 1330 posts, and 207 followers, though many of those followers are duplicates. My three main blogs get a total of about 5,600 page views a month. This goes to show what you can accomplish if you have a computer, you're too lazy to actually get a job, you don't have a phone to text 24/7, and you're not on Facebook. This blog has page views from 12 countries in the last four months, including Russia, India, Malta, Luxembourg, and Denmark. The photo of me with the panhandling sign that says,"Need $50 for bikini wax," is the post readers in most of those countries seem to find amusing.

Much to my continual surprise, people check out this blog every day. I'll try to keep it worth checking out. Thanks for reading.

How much fun can it be to be a professional blogger?

2010-11-12T14:15:00.000-08:00

Well, if you're Shoemoney, apparently it has its moments.

The South will fall again

2010-11-11T07:14:00.000-08:00

So I wound up in the Greensboro Triad area of North Carolina in late 2008. The stock market had just collapsed, the economy was going into a tailspin, and I... I wound up living with my parents. My job as a taxi driver in Orange County, California ended because of my health and the declining taxi business. I spent a year on the streets of SoCal panhandling to survive. Why did I live on the streets? Because it seemed like a much better option than moving to North Carolina to live with my family.

But there were no jobs in the small town where my parents live, I couldn't even get a restaurant job. I didn't really want a job after being a taxi driver, I wanted a small business of some sort. I soon found that North Carolina is the least entrepreneurial place I've ever lived. There's a long-standing, 400 year old, culture of corruption here, which is largely why the economy has collapsed here. It's a good 'ol boys network here, the whites, the Masons, the churches, whomever you want to blame it on, the culture here is INCREDIBLY closed to outsiders and everyone who seems a bit odd. This area, like the South in general, was built on a slave culture and cronyism. First it was farming, tobacco mostly in this area, and cotton in many other areas. Then came manufacturing. The racism from the initial slave culture continues to this day, though not nearly as bad as it once was. Following the farming came the manufacturing age. The R.J. Reynolds company put Winston-Salem on the map, and the Hanes clothing company and several furniture manufacturers also thrived in this area. But not any more. The industries are still here, but with much, much smaller workforces than they once had.

In those manufacturing days, the good ol' boys network thrived. There were plenty of jobs, even for the downtrodden black population. Like any area built on cronyism, the best jobs went to friends and family members of the powerful families. That culture of giving jobs to people who don't deserve them is still dominant here in North Carolina. But the world economy has changed. We now live in an information age where intelligent, creative, and competent people create the businesses that drive the economy. Former Carnegie Mellon University professor Richard Florida has written several books on this theme, his central idea being that to survive in today's economy, every city or region needs a scene of creative people and entrepreneurs who will start businesses that can thrive in the information age. High tech businesses are the most profitable, so every city now wants to have the next Bill Gates or Michael Dell in their area. City leaders across the country have been influenced by Professor Florida's books, cities that have lost their manufacturing jobs are now trying to become the next Silicon Valley by recruiting the "Creative Class" people that Florida talks about in his books.

Florida names a group of people the "Creative Class," people who use their intelligence and creativity in their work. There is a "creative core" of working artists, musicians, photographers, and highly creative people who form a scene in some cities. For example, if I mention Hollywood, you think of the movie and TV business, if I mention Broadway in New York City, you think of the theater district, if I mention Silicon Valley, which is in San Jose, California, you think of high tech businesses. Florida's research shows that high tech businesses go to where the talented people are, and those talented people are generally attracted to areas that are open to outsiders and have a thriving creative scene of some sort. These Creative Class workers want to live in a city where there's a good music scene, an art scene, and a bunch of other creative people to mingle with. Florida cites Austin, Texas as a great example if this, the Sixth Street music scene is known worldwide, there's a thriving art scene, and then some kid named Michael Dell started making computers in his dorm room. Bam, suddenly there's a thriving high tech scene bringing in big money to this weird Texas town. Florida's theory suggests that every city needs to be kind of like Austin, or San Francisco, or L.A., or Seattle, or New York City, to thrive in the coming decades.

Meanwhile, here in central North Carolina, and most of the American South, the closed culture and good ol' boys network still runs everything... well, everything that's left. The Greensboro Triad area, where I am, ranks as one of the lowest urban centers on Florida's creativity scale. The die hard evangelical Christian, closed to outsiders, weirdo hating, good ol'boy culture is the exact opposite of what attracts the Creative Class people who build the high income companies needed to thrive in today's economy. So when I left the ultra creative, ultra entrepreneurial area of Orange County, California, I came to one of the areas least likely to do well in the future. I didn't know that at the time, I just knew it sucked here.

To their credit, there are people in both Greensboro and Winston-Salem, North Carolina, who have read Mr. Florida's books. City leaders around here have created programs to try and attract the Creative Class people. But here's what's funny, I'm one of the Creative Core people that these cities want to attract, and I fucking hate it here. I'm from the alternative sports world, BMX, skateboarding, punk rock, and all that. There is no alternative sports scene here. There are a few riders and skaters, but Winston-Salem, for instance, a city of 350,000 people or so, doesn't have a skatepark. Not one. There's an art scene here, which is cool. There are a few live music clubs, but none of my favorite bands ever come close to here.

So I wound up in a place where you have to know someone to even get a crappy, minimum wage job, and there are no well paying jobs for my particular talents. So the obvious choice to me was to find a way to put my creative drive to work online. About a year ago I started looking into how to make money online. In the next post I'll list the basic ways there are to earn income online. That's pretty much my only hope to get my life going again here.

What about North Carolina, The South, and all the other areas generally avoided by Florida's Creative Class? Is there any hope for these places? Maybe. But to survive in the modern economy, these places have to intentionally foster a culture that's pretty much the opposite of the current ruling class. We all know change is hard, especially for local leaders in closed cultures. There is a counter culture bubbling under the surface here, and that's where the Creative Class and true change always start, in the counter culture. Will the people of North Carolina, and the South in general, make the change in time to save there cities? I doubt it. It looks to me like The South is going to Fall again. But you never know.

I lost 90 pounds without really trying

2010-11-08T07:38:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna come clean in this blog. I've lost about 90 pounds in the past three years. That's about all I can say for my life right now. I'm technically homeless, living in far from optimal situation in North Carolina right now. I don't have a job. I don't have a car. I don't have a girlfriend or wife. I don't like North Carolina. I've lived half of my life on California, and came here to visit for my family for a couple of weeks two years ago, and I haven't been able to get back to California.

But I've lost 90 pounds in the last three years. To most people, that's a big deal. But it actually kinda bums me out. I've lost 90 pounds, but I weigh about 284, so I still have 100 pounds to lose. I'm also mad that it took me three whole years to lost that 90 pounds. But I lost that much, and I'm losing 3 to 5 pounds a week right now, which is something.

So how did I do it? I stopped driving a taxi and walked out on the streets of Orange County, California. And I just kept walking. Simply surviving that transition was a major victory to me, because I could barely walk. My feet were cracked an bleeding, my legs were horribly swollen, and an average 80 year old could walk faster than me then. I'd had three bouts of cellulitis that year, in 2007, the first of which nearly killed me. The docotrs thought they might have to amputate my left leg for a couple of days. Actually it was my lifestyle as a taxi driver that nearly killed me. It's a long story, and goes back several years. Basically I started driving a taxi full time in late 1999, after I quit my Hollywood-type lighting job because of an injury. I planned to save up money for the minor surgery I needed, then go back to work as a lighting guy... basically a roadie. Instead I wound up a homeless taxi driver, two months after I started driving a cab. I've been struggling to get back on my feet ever since.

During the same time I was trying to get back on my feet, my parents were trying to get me to move to where they lived, which was Wisconsin at the time. It was finally dawning on my mom that they were going to have trouble living on the fixed income of their Social Security checks. They actually get enough to live simply, but that wouldn't do because of my mom's bad QVC habit. She just can't budget money. So she wound up asking other family members for loans on a regular basis, which they weren't too fond of.

Also during that time period, the 9/11 tragedy happened, and security suddenly became a major focus for the American law enforcement and intelligence agencies. Now I'm a highly intelligent guy who likes to ponder conspiracy theories, and wonder who really calls the shots in our country and the world. Apparently I said something that offended someone's delicate sensibilites, and I started getting odd people asking me weird questions like: "Hey, do you ever just think about blowing up a building?" It sure seemed like these people were working for our government in some capacity. And I guess being an intelligent and sarcastic taxi driver talking to business people all day didn't help. On top of that, I'd developed a knack for picking undercover cops out of a crowd, it's simply a necessary skill as a taxi driver. No matter where you are, there's a taxi driver or two selling drugs or doing something else stupid like that. So police regularly do sting operations on taxi drivers. When that happens, they try to bust every driver for everything possible. It you want to keep working as a taxi driver, you learn to avoid those undercover cop rides.

So when the Homeland Security operatives, or whomever they were, came along, I usually made them pretty quick, thinking it was another police sting. My ability to make them seemed to get me into deeper trouble, and the whole thing just snowballed. A big part of this is that I went out of my way to screw with people who appeared to be undercovers of some sort. If it seemed like someone was following my taxi, I'd make a U-turn and driver past them slowly and wave. Things like that.

I could write volumes about all these adventures, but the books would never get published, and would probably land me in jail. Suffice it to say that on top of a Southern California taxi business that was going downhill fast, I also had my family and these mysterious agents types putting pressure on my life. From August 2003 to August 2007, I was working 7 days a week, usually 16 to 18 hours a day in the cab. I lived in the my taxi the whole time, except for six months I lived in my friend's little indie art gallery, and only drove the cab on the weekends.

I dealt with the stress of taxi driving, and all the other craziness, by eating. I ate a whole pizza a couple of times a week. Almost every night, after the bar business died down, I'd stop at Del Taco and devour a combo in my cab. I ate donuts and Diet Coke for breakfast almost every day. I got a big combo at my favorite Chinese fast food restaurant several times a week. I stopped at my favorite Mexican restaurant every Saturday afternoon, and get the two chimichanga combo, a steak taco, and extra guacamole. I didn't hide my eating, I loved every bit of it. Some taxi drivers took a day off and got drunk. Most taxi drivers took their frustrations out on passengers and other drivers. I dealt with the third most stressful job in America by eating well, and enjoying it immensely.

When I started driving a taxi again in August of 2003, I thought I would work real hard for maybe six months, and save enough money to get an apartment and a better job. I had been living in the bushes, literally, and working at a restaurant for nine months. It was the most depressing period of my adult life (... until I got to North Carolina). When I got back into the cab, I was ready to bust ass and get back to working in the entertainment industry again. Then the taxi company put in a computer dispatching system, which cost the good drivers several hundred dollars a week in business each. I went into survival mode. Then all the taxi companies kept putting more and more cabs on the road, which hurt business even more. Then the recession took hold in the taxi business of Orange County, a year before most people felt it.

During that time I went from 215 pounds up to 374 in October of 2007. In the emergency room with my third bout of cellulitis that year, the doctor told me that if I didn't stop driving a taxi, I was going to die... soon. I drove until Thanksgiving weekend that year. I took a long drive out in the desert to think the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I had no idea what to do at that point, no one would loan me the money to get a new life started. So I dropped off the cab and walked... make that hobbled... out onto the streets with $15 in my pocket. I honestly expected to die within two or three weeks. I started panhandling for bus fare and food money each day. I lived on the streets and slept in the bushes or on bus benches. My family reported me missing, and the police pressure increased dramatically.

I didn't die in the first month. Or the second. After about four months, I got so good at panhandling, and dodging the police trying to bust me for panhandling, that it looked like I might actually survive and get back to a "real" life someday. That year on the streets turned out to be the best year of my life, believe it or not. My motto for that year was "moment by moment, day by day." I walked because I had to, and I lost nearly fifty pounds that first year. I've lost over 40 pounds since. Just walking.

I started this blog because I need to find a new way to make a living. After being a taxi driver for a total of five years, I just don't think like an employee anymore. I was trying to get a little Ebay business going while staying at my parents house. But the family drama prevented that from happening. So now I'm back on my own again, and starting over. I can squeeze another 5 or 6 months of free rent out of the homeless programs here in North Carolina, and I need to be making a living by then. From here on out, this blog will document my attempt to do that, as welll as talking about the different kinds of opportunities there are to make a little extra money. I know there are millions of other people out there who need to find a better way to make money. Hopefully you will get something out of my process of doing the same thing.

In this next series of posts, I'll go into ways to make money online, and what I've learned in the last year of exploring and trying online business.

Year of saving change stats

2010-11-02T06:35:00.000-07:00

This clip is Spare Change episode 6, a web video series about coin collecting. This clip tells you an in depth history of the U.S. Silver Eagle coin, which is a good coin to buy to invest in silver bullion.

Shortly after I started this blog, more than a year ago, I heard about the runner who had picked up all the change he found in the last 30 years. There's a post about him early on in this blog. He found more than $8,400 in that time, including a one ounce gold coin worth $1,000. So I started picking up the money I found on the street, or around the house, and kept track of what I found. I also started throwing my spare change in a jar, and keeping track of what that added up to each month, as well as picking up aluminum cans when I went out for a walk, and cashing those in at the end of each month. Now during this whole past year, I was unemployed, doing odd jobs and selling a little artwork here and there. I was more or less a caretaker for my parents, which is part of why I couldn't find a job, because of the screwed up home situation. My point is that had I been working at an actual job or a business, I would have a lot more spare change saved up. So here are the one year stats:

Found money- $12.27 (all change except for a dollar bill)

Aluminum cans found- $11.05 (I only picked them up for four months)

Spare change saved- $110.09

So in a year I saved $133.41, without trying, while I was out of work and broke. That's not a life changing amount by any means, but it is a nice chunk of money. If someone handed you $133 right now, what would you buy? Whatever you'd by, it would brighten your day a little.

More importantly, even while going through some serious struggles, I was able to save money each month, with very little effort. It's a habit now. After I figured these numbers up yesterday, I walked through a parking lot and found 20 cents. That dime, nickel, and those pennies are beginning the next year of saving. I like saving money now. I want to save more, and invest it in something worthwhile rather than using it to buy food or everyday stuff. If I used that money to buy silver coins, for example, I'd have five to seven ounces of silver. If I did that for ten years, I'd have fifty to seventy ounces of silver saved towards retirement, or a house, or whatever. If silver prices went up a few percent each year, that would add up to about one ounce of gold in ten years. An ounce of gold just from picking up change I found, and saving the change in my pocket. The whole point of this is to emphasize how little actions, like picking up and saving change, can add up over time. A few little changes now can add up to serious money 10, 20, or 40 years down the road. It's up to you.

She's Crafty

2010-11-01T10:33:00.000-07:00

OK, this post was inspired by Katie from Wake Forest University, who's taken up knitting lately, and for all the other crafty chicks out there. But first, my dad's bad knitting joke: if I give you 2,000 pounds of steel wool, can you knit me a Volkswagon? Bah-dah-ching. Yeah... I know... we never laughed either.

I'm one of those aging Generation X people, and I grew up in rural Ohio. When I was a kid, my mom canned fruits, made pickles, and baked a lot. Other women in my family sewed, knitted, crocheted, and did lots of other crafts. In those days when most women didn't work at jobs, lots of women did crafts or food preservation of some sort.

Then inflation hit, the economy changed, most women went to work in jobs as well as at home, and crafts suddenly seemed like something only old fashioned women did. Many of the weirdos in my generation got into the punk scene, with it's D.I.Y. (Do It Yourself) attitude, which sort of morphed into a rockabilly/swing/tattoo scene in the mid-90's. The Bettie Page influence emerged, as did retro dresses and retro culture in general. In the last several years, as women of my generation passed the early years of motherhood, crafts made a comeback. What's funny to me is that it's a lot of the same old crafts my aunts and grandmas did, but it's filtered through women influenced by the punk rock and D.I.Y.,, and Grrrrl movements of the late 70's and '80's. Now the college age women of the next generation are following their lead, and taking it in new directions.

There are lots of reasons to do crafts. The main one is to talk about how stupid us guys are. Making crafts is also a way to get your mind off your everyday troubles and relax a bit. It's a way to make both functional and pretty things that you can't find at major stores. It's a way to show your personal style. It's a way to be a bit more self-sufficient. Crafts even have a meditative aspect to them, which can lead to insights and good ideas popping into your head. And... crafts can make you some extra money.

With the holiday season here, there are plenty of craft fairs, bazaars, and arts and crafts shows in every area to sell your wares, meet other crafters, and get inspired. As I mentioned in the last post, you can set up a shop on Etsy, a website and community which is designed just to sell arts and crafts online. From what I've seen, the most successful people on Etsy have a blog, usually a combination of writing, photos, and video, which links to their Etsy site. The blogs let people get to know you a little, which makes them feel more comfortable and want to buy your stuff, hopefully. So whatever your level of crafting, if you make some extra stuff, there are plenty of places to try to sell it and put a little extra cash in your purse. There are tons of craft sites online to learn from and get inspired by, like craftivism, mookychick, Indie crafts, and the many Craft Mafia sites, like Los Angeles Craft Mafia. There are plenty more crafting sites, blogs, and tons of how-to videos on You Tube. Whatcha waitin' for? Go make something with your own two hands... unless of course you lost a hand in a bizarre gardening accident or something. But that doesn't apply to too many of you... get busy!